photo by Roger DeWitt/hueytaxi
Paws almighty, TELL ME THAT MY EYES DO DECEIVE ME and this is not what it appears to be, which would be Jeremy Bonderman’s fish-white body covered in a veritable spray of tattoos.
ALAS, as additional photographic evidence from the incomparably Spring-Training-vigilant Mr. DeWitt/hueytaxi proves, this is no mere trick of the eye, but is TERRIFYING FACT. It looks like Bondo has some sort of unfinished Chinese dragon tattoo on his right leg (no doubt deeply meaningful to him), and the names of his children, all huge and Inge-oversized, on his left arm. The names come with a set of angel wings, which to be quite honest make it look like a memorial tatt– disturbing, as both his children are still very much alive. At least he didn’t take a needle to his throwing arm?
The ‘font’ used for the names is very, well. Um. It’s pretty horrific, actually. I would not have thought it was possible for a giant-names-on-forearm font to make what happened with Brandon Inge look GOOD in comparison, but there you have it. Maybe this, like the dragon, is an unfinished piece of work? We can only hope.
I also have to point out that the right-leg-left-arm combo kind of makes him look like a court jester. You know what I mean.
All that said, if he goes on to have a spectacular 2010, I will happily jump on board Team Pictionary Bondo. You get that barbed wire armband, Bondo, and those vague tribal markings too. Maybe a couple of swallows, some nautical stars, Paws with butterfly wings as a tramp stamp. You’re a special and unique snowflake, Bondo! Don’t let us forget it!