illustrations by Samara Pearlstein
I know this is not a surprise to any of you, because we are all well aware of the fact that every time the Wrong Sox win, it results in cruelty to kittens. But this sad truth was even more evident in Monday night’s game, as the Wrong Sox were mean to Duane Below and Chance Ruffin specifically, and these are two of our most kittenish Tiger cubs right now.
SHAME. Shame on you, Chicago. It takes a truly heartless beast of a team to be so mean to fluffy baby Tigers.
It was Chance Ruffin’s big league debut. Obviously this was not the way he would have liked to come into the majors (he came in with the bases loaded and ended up letting two of those runs score, plus two of his own). But it was just one outing, against a rude team that had the taste of blood in its mouth already, so hopefully he will not let it get to him too much.
Jim Leyland’s response, when asked about the roughness of Ruffin’s first appearance? “Well, yeah, so what?”
I assume everyone has heard about and seen the hot foot from Sunday’s game by now. The video is really good enough on its own, but I thought it deserved a TC just for posterity.
Don Kelly was the victim. He is an innocent, trusting soul and was oblivious for a while, letting the flames reach an impressive size before he noticed them, or had his attention brought to them. His teammates, because they are all 10 year old boys, were in hysterics.
Justin Verlander was the likely perpetrator. Kelly first accused him because Verlander was carrying a cup of water around almost as if he knew it might be needed to avoid some sort of flame-related problem. During a FSD broadcast the next day, Verlander refused to confirm or deny his involvement, until Kelly caught him out by praising the quality of the hot foot he had been given, asking Verlander if it was his first one.
“No,” Justin said, almost immediately realizing that by bragging of his hot-footing credentials he had totally incriminated himself. On camera. GUILTY. It was pretty obvious he was guilty even before that, though, because Justin Verlander may be very very good at throwing a baseball, but he is absolutely terrible at pulling a poker face.
And here’s Brent Morel for no reason at all.
That Brent Morel is terrifying.
Truly.
I think it’s AWESOME.
Chance Ruffin… Chance… chance Ruffin. My god. I can see forever.
are they only drafting pitchers for the sake of having horribly wonderful puns to make on their names? Below Ruffin.
The hot foot was pure hilarity – would’ve loved to have seen JV accidentally admit to the prank.
Chance Ruffin could go so many ways, too… I was debating a Ruffin Puffin.
I still think Chance Ruffin could be one of the all-time great baseball names.
Still waiting for Beamer Weems to make it up to the majors.
there’s a guy named Beamer Weems?!?!
we should get him just because of his name. that would bring in the fans
But what’s really disturbing is we’re looking into a guy named Doug Fister. Don’t want that image. Do. Not. Want.
I actually already have a plan in place if we end up with Fister. Don’t worry. :P
I trust you. I have no choice.
P.S. Beaner Weems?
BeaMer Weems. He’s in the Padres system and his name is spectacular.
Now I hope we do end up with Fister just so we can see this.
Angelic Verlander face warms my little heart.
How are you so awesome? There is nothing about this blog that is not pure awesome. Truth.
I feel sad for Kelly I mean he’s really a Vetran and that’s what should’ve happened to Chance Ruffin by Papa Grande or maybe Below in between innings. but still hilarious.