Where in the Midwest is Ugueth Urbina?

The ongoing photo journey of a very special former Tiger!


all photos by Samara Pearlstein

Where is Ugie? We rejoin our intrepid hero on the Irene Hixon Whitney Footbridge over I-94 in Minneapolis, Minnesota! This bridge is so freakin’ cultured that it has a John Ashbery poem all over it. Ugie just loves Culture.

The bridge leads to the Walker Art Center, where Ugie is happy to run from grass dot to grass dot. They’re like a series of pitcher’s mounds, representing Ugie’s varied path through the Majors, skipping from team to team.

The tags for the John Waters-curated Absentee Landlord exhibit at the Walker seemed to anticipate Ugie’s arrival.

Ugie poses with a Wolf Vostell print. Does this mean that Ugie has been qualified into Art? I THINK SO.

Of course, there is no way Ugie could go to Minneapolis and fail to check out Spoonbridge and Cherry, the iconic sculpture by Claes Oldenberg and Coosje Van Bruggen. Don’t pour that gasoline into the art, Ugie!

Ugie does love his churches. Here he takes a look at the Basilica of St. Mary, the first Basilica in the United States. It was built between 1907 and 1915, and was blessed by the Pope at the time in 1926 (which is what makes it a Basilica, I guess).

Where’s Ugie now? He’s LHAO at this ridiculous Minneapolis radio billboard.

Did you know that Minneapolis has a public bike network? Ugie is making that discovery here. It’s called ‘Nice Ride’, because the Midwest is all about everything being nice. (Boston is about to start a similar program, which will probably be called ‘F-U Cars and Pedestrians’.)

Kirby Puckett may be hollering at him, but Ugie will not be kept away from baseball! He’s got a career 2.40 ERA against Minnesota– he loves those wacky Twinkies.

This is Ugie’s first trip to Target Field, because he only ever pitched in the Metrodome when visiting Minnesota.

Ugie is quite a fan of outdoor baseball in Minnesota. Not so much a fan of the brutal summer heat and oppressive humidity in Minneapolis at the time, but outdoor baseball in general, yes.

Continuing his explorations of Minneapolis, Ugie had to take a look at the Weisman Art Museum and run along the contours of its Frank Gehry-designed housing.

There was plenty of time for Ugie to take a quick dip in the Mississippi River, although as usual he did have to be cautioned to keep his gasoline spout out of the water.

Where’s Ugie now? Why, at the University of Minnesota, of course!

Ugie may have been traveling with a pack of Wolverines, but he still paused to worry about Golden Gopher hockey.

Always one to appreciate a ridiculous name, Ugie greatly enjoyed a visit to the Dinkytown district.

Ugie’s in the front row at Target Field! Obviously a security breach of some sort, although he did mostly behave himself. In fact, he only jeered Brad Penny a handful of times, which I think you will agree is very restrained of him.

His time in Minneapolis done, Ugie gets back on the road. Most of you will recognize this: he’s admiring the water sculpture at Detroit Metro Airport. It is fascinating technology, which Ugie of course only considers in the context of using it to wreak havoc on his enemies.

Now he’s really getting Midwestern. Ugie says hi to a Big Boy located somewhere anonymous in Ohio.

Ugie greets the ancestral Ohioan homeland of Jim Leyland!

More baseball for Ugie, this time at Eastwood Field in Niles, OH. It’s home to the Mahoning Valley Scrappers, the low-A affiliate of the Racist Logos.

Normally Ugie loves Dippin Dots, but when they’re served in a Racist Logo helmet… time to break out the gasoline!

Ugie just does not know what to make of this incongruous fountain. It’s in front of a Holiday Inn Express in Warren (‘Youngstown North’), Ohio, which is just not the sort of place where Ugie would have expected to find such a fountain.

After a long drive, Ugie can breathe a sigh of relief, because he’s back in Michigan. He celebrates with a delicious Michigan staple.

Soon enough it is time for Ugie’s TRIUMPHANT RETURN TO COMERICA PARK!

Ugie refuses to let this creepy glow-y tiger freak him out on the occasion of his glorious return.

It’s so beautiful! Ugie cannot wait to run out to the mound and bean every Angel in the ballpark.

Ugie rides the Tiger carousel! The carousel is not too happy about it, clearly, but Ugie does not care about its feelings.

Always up for some Tigers history, since he himself is a part of it, Ugie dances on the bat of Hank Greenberg, taunting batters as is his way.

Angry crazed Tigers unite! Ugie visits with Ty Cobb. In life they would have despised one another, for a multitude of reasons. In statue and Terrible Cartoon form, they are BFF.

Ugie can’t ignore the other cats in town. He knows that this is the year the Lions make the rest of the NFL sit up and take notice.

Five dollar gameday parking? Ugie is traveling with Bostonians who simply cannot believe such a thing, as comparably-located parking around Fenway often runs you anywhere from $20-40.

Ugie pauses by a historic marker in Detroit to wonder what might have been if he had channeled his energy as effectively as Henry Ford did. Alas, the world will never know.

It’s incredibly hot in Detroit, so Ugie takes a moment to cool off in the Grand Circus Park fountain.

Another visit to Comerica Park, this time allowing Ugie to hang out with the Gate A Tigers.

And that’s it! Another great trip for Ugueth Urbina, in the only way he can travel these days. Many actual baseball photos to come from these journeys, of course, but for now, enjoy the Midwest through the crazy bug eyes of our old friend Ugie.

Previously on RotT: Where in Florence is Ugueth Urbina? and Where in Seattle is Ugueth Urbina?

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26 responses to “Where in the Midwest is Ugueth Urbina?

  1. Next time you’re in MichOhio you’ll have to take in a Toledo Mudhens game.

  2. Let's Go Tigers

    hahaha oh god that was HILARIOUS! You did not let us down with your “surprise”!

  3. Thanks for the tour and the reminder that there are a few guys who could take anger management classes from Jered Weaver.

  4. Baseball Oogie

    Actually, a church becomes a basilica just because the Pope says so. It is one of the many awesome Pope powers he has.

  5. “Normally Ugie loves Dippin Dots, but when they’re served in a Racist Logo helmet… time to break out the gasoline!”

    I made it up to there before breaking out in uproarious laughter. By the time I got to Ugie dancing on Hank Greenberg’s statue, I was no longer fit for civil company… But I think becoming a hermit may be worth it for having enjoyed this post first.

  6. Fun stuff. That Big Boy in Ohio is something else.

  7. So homesick for the Midwest now, lol. I love travelling vicariously through Ugie! Him and his jaunty machete and gasoline can … :) :) :)

  8. ivantopumpyouup

    I love the adventures of Ugie.

    Dinkytown? Really? Oh Minnesota. Never change.

  9. The Real Matt in Toledo (Yeah, I went there.)

    Ugie! Yes!

    …is that the original Ugie? He’s in good shape! Is he laminated? Or do you just re-spawn him from the nearest printer when necessary?

    Gives me a chill to see the SR 795 sign in Perrysburg. I lived a mile from there, for an unhappy year. Didn’t get on with the suburbs, or with my ex.

  10. The Real Matt in Toledo (Yeah, I went there.)

    Good to know. We like these Behind the Scenes, How the Magic Happens kind of details…

  11. Yes there really is a dinky town. That is where all of us Gophers hung out between classes. Loved the tour of minny

  12. Add another feather in the ROT cap: the only Tigers blog with John Ashbery references. His only novel perfectly captures Sunday’s, err, behaviors, “Nest Full Of Ninnies.”

  13. So did you see Verlander’s no no bid along with Carlos Guillen’s homerun and all the expletives coming from little bro Weaver’s mouth I mean even Ozzie and those kitten killing Palehoes would’ve been impressed! Love Ugie’s adventures there awesome go Wolverines this is the year they shock the Buckeyes right into a Dinkytown state of mind maybe Kirk will remeber the fatefull day he got that concussion. Good news since Ohio St. forfeited all their wins in I think from 10-11 we’ve won 2 games against them in a row! Hail To the Victors!

  14. So did you see Verlander’s no no bid along with Carlos Guillen’s homerun and all the expletives coming from little bro Weaver’s mouth I mean even Ozzie and those kitten killing Palehoes would’ve been impressed!

    Well, some have speculated that the roots of the recent ruckus go back to 2000, when Jeff Weaver beaned Carlos Lee, leading to a huge fight between the Tigers and the White Sox, in the course of which Magglio (then still with the W. Sox) totally clobbered Jeff Weaver. Little brother still mad at Magglio?

  15. Roar of the Tigers

    Awesome!

  16. OT: I’m not on Twitter, but from this I’d say your answer (or one possible good answer) is “spur.” Thanks – it hadn’t occurred to me to wonder before either! Go Ugie!

  17. The real Matt in Toledo is the only blogger besides Samara to have posed with Ugie. Top that, fake Matt in Toledo.

  18. Outstanding! As quite possibly the only reader of this blog who is both a Tiger Fan AND a U of Minn alum, I was very proud to see that Ugie spent some time on campus and checked out our fancy new football stadium and quaint shopping area (Dinkytown).
    Go Gophs! Go Tigers!

  19. Ugie will always be my Tiger

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