Winning is great, but stop this senseless abuse.


illustration by Samara Pearlstein

It’s getting worse. As if the unrelenting schedule of play was not bad enough… as if the constant foul ball foot abuse, the whacks to the center of the mask, the bad bounces that strike unprotected hands were not bad enough… as if the collisions at the plate where 10,000 things can go wrong at once are not bad enough…

Now they’re going for his NECK! Holy Paws, this needs to stop. Alex Avila is going to end the season in pieces, or I am going to have a nervous breakdown on his behalf. Possibly both. Probably both.

Other things from this game:

–Justin Verlander gave up a leadoff home run to Matt Joyce, then settled in and controlled the heck out of the rest of the game. I’m willing to chalk the homer up to a donation to orphaned kittens. It didn’t get in the way of Verlander’s 19th win of the season, so it’s all good.

–Alex Avila homered, because he is stronger than a mortal man and can do things like that even while suffering inhumane amounts of catcher abuse.

–Don Kelly homered, because LOL.

–Papa Grande in non-save situations is rather nerve-wracking, but I would still rather watch him a hundred times than Fernando Rodney once in the same situation.

–I really like when the Verlander/Avila battery catches someone stealing, or picks someone off (it was a CS today, of Ben Zobrist). Verlander’s move is a deadly cobra strike and Avila’s arm is as mighty as his beard. We all know this, but it is nice to remind the rest of the league every so often.

–In the dugout, at some point in the middle of the game: Scherzer up by the rail, Miguel Cabrera and Magglio Ordonez talking to someone (Porcello, I think?), with someone behind them sitting on the bench. Magglio started putting his shirt up over his nose, acting all ridiculous and coy, and so did the guy on the bench. Rod and Mario realized that there was Fart Fun happening in the dugout, and lost their minds giggling.

A shot a minute later made it seem like Miggy was accusing Max of being the offending party, but I suppose we shall never know.

–Victor Martinez was a late scratch from the lineup with BACK SPASMS. Miggy DH’d and Kelly played first. Obviously not good, since back spasms can and do recur, and especially not good because changes in gait (such as one might have from a KNEE INJURY) can lead to back spasms. VMart might be setting himself up for a deathspiral of unhealing hurtiness here.

–The emergency catcher role was allegedly shifted from Kelly to Inge today, even though the word on the electronic street had been that the FO didn’t think Inge’s knees were healthy enough to catch, even on rare occasion. Of course, since there is no backup at the moment, the emergency catcher is technically also the backup catcher. We may see something come of this, that’s all I’m sayin’.

–I feel like there was something else, but I forgot. Oh well.

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11 responses to “Winning is great, but stop this senseless abuse.

  1. It really deserves to be mentioned that in addition to Avila’s other greatnesses, Rod and Mario mentioned that he leads ALL OF MLB in BA, OPS, and SLG for the month of August. ALL OF MLB. That’s something.

  2. Avila has revealed himself to beyond human.

  3. The man sitting on the top of the bench was none other than our beloved Brady 1c Penny pretty sure Scherzer did the unspeakable because he wasn’t doing a thing with the others but then again Cabby loves his mexicano food so maybe it was him or maybe Will Rhymes burrito habbits floated all the way to Tampa home of the weird noise and probably a hurricane coming soon. Alex got pumbled destroied and abliterated i mean did you see Inge’s face when he saw he was hurt his knees were screaming don’t make me go out there please I beg no!

  4. I was listening to Rays radio (via XM) for the first couple of innings and the noise sounded like the vuvuzelas from the World Cup. Which would actually be sort of cool to pipe in to boost all those fans disguised as empty seats.*

    *I mean, really, 13,000?!? Was that everyone from Lakeland too? The fans in right field were three rows deep when Joyce hit that homer in the first. Not even the Royals had that poor of attendance five years ago when they were losing and awful to watch, and the Rays are good.

    • Well, I’m not sure what their attendance is normally, BUT… I would guess that the wild weather at the start of the game kept the crowds away even more than usual. It’s a dome, but you still have to get there, and if the wind and rain were that bad it might have kept people from making the trek.

    • I was actually at the game and that weather situation was INSANE. We weren’t sure if the crazy vuvuzela sound was the sound system feeding back or the wind but we were pretty sure we were going to be killed on multiple occasions. Or driven insane by what sounded like millions of bees.

      I don’t think the weather was the attendance issue. We live in Florida so we catch a game every time the Tigers play down here and the situation is always the same. If I had been able to go to the final game against the Yankees, I could have gotten tickets that day. Seriously. If Verlander can’t sell more tickets, I don’t know who can.

      It was a great game to see live, though. Good times!

  5. the fun in the dugout was definetly caused by Cabby if anyone saw the look on his face. I was lucky to get tickets for 1 game on that sold-out weekend in detroit. the only thing left for the other games was standing for $40. There was 150,000+ at the game. But 13,000 in st. pete? holy smokes! thats like houston!!!

  6. ivantopumpyouup

    Miggy seems like the type who would fart and then try to blame someone else, and no one would be able to call him on it because… well, he’s Miggy.

  7. I noticed that right after Avila went down, Verlander nearly took off Upton’s head the following pitch. Brought a smile to my face.

  8. I’m pretty sure that if they called on Inge to be emergency catcher, and moved Don Kelly to third base to cover for him, Brandon would cry.

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