Completely FredFred


illustration by Samara Pearlstein

Rick Porcello is on some kind of pitcher’s high right now. He’s thrown two complete game shut-outs in a row, this latest requiring only 95 pitches. Do you know how you throw a complete game in 95 pitches?

–A lot of sinking fastballs that induce relatively easy ground-ball outs.
–A gentle and loving relationship with the baseball.
–An effective training regimen and sufficient hydration.
–The skill of Being Good at Baseball.

You know the last time the Tigers had a pitcher who threw back-to-back complete game shut-outs? It was 1986 and the pitcher was Jack Morris and FredFred was not even a living human being on this earth yet, because he is a child who was born in 1988. He has never existed in a world that has contained a Tigers pitcher who has thrown back-to-back complete game shut-outs until now, and he is himself that pitcher. Glorious.

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7 responses to “Completely FredFred

  1. You are definitely the person I rely on for cutting-edge insight like this!

  2. Oh, how I’ve missed you! Thanks for the huge grin on my face!

  3. He is going to be an All Star this year

  4. Glorious, indeed. I definitely want to see FredFred on the All-Star team this year. He deserves it… And maybe if he continues to pitch this well, it will inspire some latent greatness in other Tigers pitchers. *cough cough* Verlander I’m looking at you! *cough cough*

  5. aleta littell

    Awesome! and so glad you are back, Samara

  6. Soooo glad you’re back and referring to Porcello as FredFred again. I always call him that (thanks to RotT: the early years), and everyone looks at me with completely blank faces. Time to re-educate!

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