Well, at least it wasn’t another brawl…

Pudge, Pudge, Pudge.

Look, I know you’re feeling stressed lately. I know it’s rough that you’re going through that divorce, and I know it’s rough that you’re probably worrying about your kids and suchlike. I know it’s rough that you had your binky taken away from you and traded to Philadelphia. I know it must be rough playing with little broken bones in your hands. And I know it’s rough trying to handle a relatively young pitching staff on top of all that.

And man, trust me when I say that it is very, very hot to see you rip off your mask and go chest-to-chest with some guy while you get all worked up and scream at him and backwards baseball helmet and mmm. Even if that guy is about a head taller than you.

But I still did not really want to see you get ejected from a game in a manner so violent that there’s talk of a possible impending suspension. Not when The Farns is still in suspension limbo, and Bondo is just getting over his own. Not when our backup catcher is Vance “I am incapable of hitting over .200 apparently notwithstanding any freakish home runs hit today” Wilson, aka 44th Round. Because that’s when he was drafted, see. And when we have to choose between putting Pudge Rodriguez, one of the best catchers to ever catch a ball in the entire spacetime continuum of baseball, and 44th Round on the field, well, we’re not going to be terribly happy about the days we have to put 44th Round in there.

And a possible suspension means possibly more 44th Round than we like to see, or than is indeed healthy for the team.
Then again, if this crazed ‘win/lose/win/lose/get to .500/crash and burn for a bit’ thing the Tigers have going on is them being healthy, maybe they need to try something sick and depraved for a while.

Oh, and I didn’t get to see the game, what with being at the Red Sox game and all, but my friend tells me that Brandon Inge shaved off his ‘goatee’. A moment of silence for Brandon Inge’s valiant attempt at facial hair and the strange and magical world of looking older than 15.

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Moment over.

DINGMAN WATCH: No Dingman sighting today, so we’re still at 0.00.

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