Yeah, you know what I mean. Something’s not worth a full laugh, it needs a laugh that’s smaller, more insidious, if you will. A giggle. But you cut it off halfway through because it’s not ‘ha ha funny’, it’s just funny. So it becomes a gigglesnort. A most moving sound, to be sure.
And you just know that when Tigers fans all over the country (the world! the galaxy! the universe!) saw the following line, there was an awful lot of navy, white, and smidgens of orange gigglesnorting going on.
Mussina (L, duh): 4 IP, 12 H, 10 R, 10 ER, 1 BB, 2 SO, 4 HR, 8.04 ERA
A line that would cause happiness to many under any circumstances (Orioles fans especially), but which is especially joyous when that glorious multitude of hits came from stripey feline bats.
I know it’s Spring Training. I know, OK? Shut up. It’s meaningless, teams do awful in the spring and dominate come fall, everyone’s still warming up and some people are hurt and some people are bored and some people are suffering mightily from the debilitating sunburn they got yesterday afternoon on the beach and they’re not concentrating on their hitting (I’m looking at you, A-Rod). But it’s just so, so pretty. Look at the pretty highlights.
Monroe, 3-for-4 with a double, 2 RBI, and one run scored.
Pudge, 2-for-3 with 2 RBI and 2 runs scored (did anyone honestly expect him to be home from the WBC by now? I fully expected him to spend the remainder of the spring back in Columbia, completing yet more
cocaine business deals or whatever it is he does down there) .
Magglio, 2-for-2 with a walk, 2 RBI, 3 runs scored, and a home run (a slow home run trot won’t make your knees explode or your inner workings herniate! BONUS!).
Dmitri, 2-for-3 with 2 RBI, one run scored, a double, and a home run (and at least one helmet flip, I’m sure).
Inge, 2-for-3 with 2 RBI, one run scored, and a home run (and an error, but shhhh).
Alexis Gomez (!!!), 3-for-5 with 1 RBI, 2 runs scored, a double and a home run (which, according to the postgame reports, went OVER THE RIGHT FIELD SCOREBOARD. I didn’t see it, obviously, so I can’t say. But this is what the media folk are saying. Alexis Gomez, people!).
Omar, 2-for-5 with one RBI and one run scored.
So, yeah, Spring Training yadda yadda yadda etc. It’s no big deal but that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun with it.
Oh, and of course there was this.
Bonderman (W): 5 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 3 SO, 1 HR, 5.93 ERA
Phwoar. That’s some sexy line right there, that is. Is it too soon to start up the JEREMY BONDERMAN: HE IS BETTER THAN YOU! chatter again? No. It is never soon for that sort of thing. All hail the stony majesty of our almost/possibly-soon-to-be ace.
Just as a side note, it’s good to see that many of the Tigs who did the whole ‘represent whut whut’ schtick for the WBC played quite well. Tony G flashed some glove and some speed, Grilli pitched pretty darn well in his Italian outing, Plonkers was sick with the bat, Fernando was instrumental to the DR, Pudge, Jones, Maggs, and Guillen don’t seem to have hurt themselves. Positives, all.