What’s with all this, dare I say the word? I don’t dare say the word. It starts with a W and rhymes with GRINNING, which is ironically enough what I find myself on occasion doing because of it.
But seriously! What is up! With the word!
Last season the Tigers were 32-49 on the road, and already this season they have, what, 10 road wins? Only 22 left to go! It’s not May yet! I CAN’T CONTAIN MYSELF.
In this latest, um, 5 game S-word (starts with S, rhymes with BEAK), 4 of the 5 games have been close, to the point where everyone in Detroit had cardiac events. Seriously.
There was that 11-4 A’s-thrashing to start it off where Joe Blanton pooped his pants, but then there was the 4-3 win where the Tigers came back with 3 runs in the 9th and Justin Duchschereerheerhrehreher pooped his pants and everyone said SINCE WHEN DOES THAT HAPPEN TO THE TIGERS??, and then there was that 2-1 victory where Pudge homered, and where Todd Jones gave up a run in the 9th and EVERYBODY POOPED THEIR PANTS, and we all said TODD JONES WE DIDN’T WANT YOU TO TAKE UP THE MANTLE OF ‘ROLLERCOASTER JONES’ AGAIN SO READILY, and then there was the 2-0 victory where nobody pooped their pants, except possibly Richie Sexson for trying to run on Pudge and getting gunned down like a tall, bleached blonde, pants pooping deer, and then today we had the 6-4 victory where Joel Zumaya SERIOUSLY pooped his pants, and Fernando Rodney tried to add more defecation, and Todd Jones finally provided the toilet paper. I found this game especially heartening however because we won without Pudge or Inge in the lineup, and with Magglio going 0-for-eleventy billion.
But the point is, look at how close all those games have been. SCARY CLOSE, right? Right. This means that we’ve been riding the ragged edge of disaster, and it can only be a matter of time before we fall off the ragged edge, and into the great big dank pit of close losses.
However, Pudge finally started hitting well, which was a good thing to see happen. And heck, even when he sat out today, The Inimitable Vance Wilson hit pretty well. Also good to see: Mike Maroth kicking rump (but in a godly way!); Nate Robertson rebounding from his last horrible outing; people on occasion taking walks (CRAZY I KNOW, RIGHT??!?); Zumaya, today excepted, looking good; Verlander hitting silly numbers on the radar gun; baseball on TV.