I would just like to point out that I do not for one second think that if we lose this series to the Yankees it means we aren’t a Real Live Honest to Kittens Contending Team.
Why not? WHYEVER NOT, you cry, when sportswriters the
world country over are saying that very thing?
Because, dear feline readers, those people are living in the past. Yes. I said it. THIS YANKEES TEAM IS NOT ONE OF THE YANKEES TEAMS OF YORE. I realize that, psychologically, they’re still The MFin’ Yankees. I realize that they still have -yay- amount of heapin’ big offense. I realize that Randy Johnson, yesterday, had some kind of freakish return to Unit-form and that Mike Mussina is pitching several thousand times better than his record would indicate, because apparently he fathered children off of the wives of the entire lineup or something and they now hate him.
But they’re still not the Yankees that were once unstoppable. These Yankees are old. These Yankees are beat-up. These Yankees wear Depends.
Which of course would make it slightly more irksome to lose a bunch of games to them, but it wouldn’t mean anything like everyone claims it would. It would just be one of those good-luck/bad-luck streaks that baseball is full of, and that make everyone thank their happy cats that the season is as long as it is.
And, you know, we’re having our own little set of issues right now. I love Brandon Inge, I think we all know this, and he’s been fielding pretty well from what I can tell in a place where I get to see, uh, no games at all, but SOMEONE NEEDS TO KICK HIM IN THE BITS and get that kid hitting again. Inge, dude. I love you, you’re my Tiger! Yooooouuuuuu aaaarrrreeeeee myyyyyyyyy Tiiiiiigggggeeeerrrrr! Not the eleventy-eight time All Star, or Pudge because “my mom thinks he’s cute” (she doesn’t), no, it is you.
SO WOULD YOU GET YOUR BLEEPIN’ ACT TOGETHER AND GET SOME BLEEPIN’ HITS ONCE IN A BLEEPIN’ WHILE?
Also, what the kracken is up with Mike Maroth? Has anyone heard? I mean, I know he’s on the 15-day DL and all, but does anyone have details that I somehow missed seeing? If not, I’m just gonna list his ailment in my mind as ‘TEMPORARILY DEAD’ and move on to trying to not make horrible puns about Roman Colon’s name.