*skips in* *gestures rudely at the Yankees* *skips away*

I would just like to point out that I do not for one second think that if we lose this series to the Yankees it means we aren’t a Real Live Honest to Kittens Contending Team.

Why not? WHYEVER NOT, you cry, when sportswriters the world country over are saying that very thing?

Because, dear feline readers, those people are living in the past. Yes. I said it. THIS YANKEES TEAM IS NOT ONE OF THE YANKEES TEAMS OF YORE. I realize that, psychologically, they’re still The MFin’ Yankees. I realize that they still have -yay- amount of heapin’ big offense. I realize that Randy Johnson, yesterday, had some kind of freakish return to Unit-form and that Mike Mussina is pitching several thousand times better than his record would indicate, because apparently he fathered children off of the wives of the entire lineup or something and they now hate him.

But they’re still not the Yankees that were once unstoppable. These Yankees are old. These Yankees are beat-up. These Yankees wear Depends.

Which of course would make it slightly more irksome to lose a bunch of games to them, but it wouldn’t mean anything like everyone claims it would. It would just be one of those good-luck/bad-luck streaks that baseball is full of, and that make everyone thank their happy cats that the season is as long as it is.

And, you know, we’re having our own little set of issues right now. I love Brandon Inge, I think we all know this, and he’s been fielding pretty well from what I can tell in a place where I get to see, uh, no games at all, but SOMEONE NEEDS TO KICK HIM IN THE BITS and get that kid hitting again. Inge, dude. I love you, you’re my Tiger! Yooooouuuuuu aaaarrrreeeeee myyyyyyyyy Tiiiiiigggggeeeerrrrr! Not the eleventy-eight time All Star, or Pudge because “my mom thinks he’s cute” (she doesn’t), no, it is you.

SO WOULD YOU GET YOUR BLEEPIN’ ACT TOGETHER AND GET SOME BLEEPIN’ HITS ONCE IN A BLEEPIN’ WHILE?

Also, what the kracken is up with Mike Maroth? Has anyone heard? I mean, I know he’s on the 15-day DL and all, but does anyone have details that I somehow missed seeing? If not, I’m just gonna list his ailment in my mind as ‘TEMPORARILY DEAD’ and move on to trying to not make horrible puns about Roman Colon’s name.

5 responses to “*skips in* *gestures rudely at the Yankees* *skips away*

  1. Actually THESE Yankees are the youngest they’ve been in years. THESE Yanks are more like the 1998 Yanks. THESE Yanks beat the MLB’s best team without Damon, Shef, and Matsui. With a hurt Bernie, Giambi and Posada. THESE Yanks won with Aaron Small pitching. THESE Yanks had 7 farm grown players on the field at one point last night.
    I don’t have anything against the Tigers, but come on now. The Tigers ARE for real. But the Yanks are back to their grind-it-out, gutty ways of old when they won championships. Not the “unstoppable” all-star bound teams that failed in the playoffs.

  2. I come in search of explanation/apologies/promises to rebound and kick the ever-loving snot out of the skanks for the next two nights. please don’t disappoint; I was expecting a great deal more happiness and sunshine and kick-assery in Detroit this week than I’ve seen so far.
    then, sweet kitties, if it’s not too much to ask, perhaps you can roll over and play clueless again over the weekend?

  3. I am glad the Red Sox have an offday tomorrow. It means I can go down to my sports bar and get the bartender to put the Tigers/Yankees game on one of the huge-ass TVs (if a Yankee fan hasn’t gotten there first, heh) so I can watch Really Big Verlander. If I can’t watch him pitch against the Sox, then that is the next best thing.

  4. Dan, THESE Yankees are young by necessity, not choice. If they’re young it’s because they’ve been panic-stripping their minors when all their aged first choices go down with plague. Props to their kids for stepping it up, but, you know, they ain’t no Braves.
    Reb, trust me, I’ll be scratching my head just as woefully if that’s what happens. I don’t think Maroth going down helped them out any, it seems to have taken the wind out of their sails a bit, if nothing else.
    Really Big Verlander. Heh.

  5. Your Tigers are a pretty solid team, but not as good as you think – hence the reason the Yankees smoked you for 3 out of 4 and the Sox came in and took 2 out of 3.
    Beating up on the Royals does not a contender make.
    For the record, I’m a Sox fan.

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