Tonight we’re all just swimmin’ in The River Thames

Gotta give The River his props. He’s proven time and time again that he can hit, and it’s never been quite enough… even after this, he’s still back behind a fiery Dmitri Young, who must be really good at choking up on his bat by now. Yeah, you know you all had that joke in your heads anyways.

These last couple of games have been Pleasing. With the team sliding as much as it was, it’s nice to see that they are still capable of the sort of recovery we know they can pull off, even when EVERY FIBER OF OUR BEINGS tells us that they’re done forever and ever because THAT IS HOW IT WORKS. We must learn to quiet these fibers. They are remnants of another time.

I myself am filled with fibrousness and I recognize it for what it is, but still it persists. “These are the Tigers,” it whispers. “The Detroit Tigers. They are losers. You are rooting for a loser team. You will go buy Little Caesar’s Pizza. The power of Bobby Higginson compels you.” Silence, infernal fibers! Silence! I have seen the Rally Gum! I believe!

(if this makes little or no sense, please bear in mind that the Red Sox are on the west coast right now, and since this is the case I am not doing the little things anymore, things like ‘sleeping’)

Verlander. Man is it good to see him get back on track, even if he still wasn’t throwing all the goodies, at least he was controlling the goodies he DID have enough to get himself a W. I only saw a tiny snippet of the game, because my computer was having the kind of day where it sulks and freezes every time I try to play video (including MLB.tv), but the bit I did see….yeah. Two things.

1) I am not that big a hockey fan, I don’t regularly watch the ‘Wings or anything. Does Chelios always sound mildly stoned? Is that just his mode of speech?

2) Verlander was working WICKED fast. Now, when I saw him pitch in Fenway, he wasn’t crawling along or anything, but he wasn’t working anywhere near as fast as he was here. So it’s a chicken-and-egg kinda thing here: was he working fast because he felt more comfortable and was pitching better, or did he feel more comfortable and pitch better because he was working fast? (also, the answer is the egg. Think about it)

And tonight, tonight Kenny Rogers and his hilarious pitching faces shut Ozzie Guillen the f’ up, and for this we are all grateful. I don’t care if the Wrong Sox are slumping right now; they are still the Wrong Sox and I still take it as a good sign when we are able to beat them. It was particularly nice to see that Buehrle got touched up (for runs. not inappropriately), especially in the wake of all this sign stealing brouhaha. Remember kids, last season it was Buerhle who was accusing the Rangers of stealing signs and flashing signals from their outfield lights and/or space alien transmissions. Where is your tinfoil hat now, Buehrle? WHERE IS YOUR TINFOIL HAT NOW?

Also, I hate Neifi Perez. I vote we call him Nay-Fee from now on, as a symbol of the fact that we all STRONGLY OBJECT to the contract we have inexplicably taken on to get him. Were the Brewers really so wedded to Tony Graffanino that we couldn’t have wooed him away for Chris Robinson or something comparable? Was there really NO ONE ELSE? Because while I understand that Nay-Fee is not the worst player to ever set cleat to field, I also understand that he is going to look that way if he plays a lot. And it sounds like they want him to play a lot. And. I hate him.

At least we’re winning. If we keep on winning, Nay-Fee can take a dump on the field and start flinging it into the stands for all I care and I will start calling him NEIFI!!! to emphasize my sarcastic excitements. That seems only fair.

2 responses to “Tonight we’re all just swimmin’ in The River Thames

  1. Well yes, of _course_ the egg came first. The first chicken egg was laid by a creature that was, biologically, almost-but-not-quite a chicken.
    It is my suspicion that even that egg’s parent knew enough not to trade for Neifi Perez, but that’s a separate issue. Whatever happened to the rumored deal for Grudzielanek, do you know? He’s a good player, but the Royals have Keppinger and German to play well at the same position, so i feel that someone seriously blew something.

  2. I don’t know what happened there. To be honest, I heard about the Royals re-upping Grudzie almost at the same exact time I heard about the Tigers’ interest in him. I’m less inclined to think the Tigers blew it and more inclined to think it was the Royals trying to show that they’re, well, trying.

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