Grilli Grilled (i.e. the most obvious headline possible)

grilled Grilli by Samara Pearlstein

Headline generation time!

Grill Readied, Grilli Subjected to It
Grilli Greased Like Grill-Bound Pork
Grilli Grilled Grievously
Fire Up the Grill– Whoever Played the Tigers Sure Did
Grilli Burned
No Heat on This Grill(i)
Jason Grilli Threw the Base Ball in a Manner Which May Be Characterized as Poorly

‘Cause you know full well that we’re gonna be seeing a lot of that sort of thing in local papers throughout the season.

Nine runs in under two innings? That is, to beat a dead pun horse, a GRILLIN’. Only 7 of them were earned, apparently, but even 7 is wayyy too many for four outs. I mean, day-um.

Right now Grilli is sitting up in a hotel bed in Florida, staring at some awful piece of hotel wall art and repeating in his head, “It’s just spring training, it doesn’t count. It’s just spring training, it doesn’t count,” over and over again, until he falls into a depressed coma-like sleep disturbed only by screaming nightmares where a giant animated Chief Wahoo chases him around Comerica with a flaming baseball bat.

It IS spring training and it truly DOESN’T count, but….. I know that everyone (FO included) has been saying that Grilli’s spot on the team is basically assured. He’s still not a starter, though, and he’s no Zumaya. He’s not a 100% lock no matter how many people say he’s in, so you have to assume that spring training still holds for him some of the “prove yourself or perish” pressure that it has for rookies and sub-rookies this time of year. What I’m saying is that he probably isn’t working on something totally new that could throw him off that much without being an actual indication of where he is right now, pitching-wise. No. That is a luxury afforded only to the truly established players.

He does indicate that he’s trying to mess with his footwork in order to improve his sinker, so I guess we can all hope that this game was a big part of the Grand Grilli Foot Plant Experiment of March 2007 and we won’t have to worry our little heads about it.


Holy freakin’ cats 9 runs in 1 1/3 innings.

BUT IT DOESN’T COUNT. SPRING TRAINING. SPRING TRAINING. DOES NOT. COUNT. *eye twitchings to the soundtrack of quiet Grilli sobbing*


One response to “Grilli Grilled (i.e. the most obvious headline possible)

  1. I’m guessing that were you at one of his spring performances, you would’ve been just like the rest of the crowd and booed him off the field, no?

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