the final nail in the coffin of Ugueth Urbina's career

Well, you all remember this story. It’s finally come to a conclusion. Here’s a general timeline, for those of you who can’t recall it.

1995: Ugie makes his Major League debut as a vaunted Montreal Expo.

2001: Ugie splits his year between the Expos and the Red Sox.

2003: Ugie starts the year with Texas, ends it with the Marlins. Ugie gets a World Series ring. Ugie meets Pudge Rodriguez, love is sparked, tender kisses traded, etc.

2004: Ugie and Pudge rekindle their love in Detroit.

2005: Ugie splits his year between Detroit and Philly, because halfway through the year he showed up on the Detroit plane trashed and allegedly got into a scrap with some teammates, thus signing his own ticket out of town.

2006: Ugie is accused of attacking some of the workers on his property in Venezuela because he caught them using his pool. And by ‘attacking’ we mean ‘hacking at them with a machete and then pouring gasoline on them and setting them on fire’ which, y’know, woooaaahhh.

2007: Ugie is convicted and sentenced to 14 years in prison.

Wow. Fourteen years isn’t junk time. Ugie’s 32 now; he’d be 46 when he got out (assuming an appeal doesn’t go through, and assuming you can’t get out of Venezuelan prison much before your allotted time). Now, I don’t know enough about the Venezuelan justice system to say if this verdict seems normal or not. Ugie’s always been pretty high-profile in Venezuela, and whenever someone high-profile ends up in court, unfortunately different things may happen.

Regardless. What I REALLY want to know is what Pudge’s reaction was when he first heard. I imagine uncontrollable sobbing.

6 responses to “the final nail in the coffin of Ugueth Urbina's career

  1. I’m not sure when, but there were rumors that Ugie got into a scrap (or maybe just nearly got into a scrap) with Wakefield when he was on the Red Sox. Dude’s definitely got some anger issues.
    It’s too bad he’s not left-handed, really… At 46 years old and with 14 years of rest, I’d bet some team would give him a non-roster invite to see if he could be their lefty “situational reliever”… Alas, he throws righty and his career is likely over.
    I live & work in Philly, and my boss still thinks that they should have put Polanco at 3rd base to make room for Chase Utley, so that the hideous David Bell contract (my boss once called David Bell “the worst player in baseball… (pause while steam shoots out of his ears)… EVER!”) actually cost the Phillies double, as in (1) had to put up with David Bell sucking for 2 more years and (2) lost Polanco in exchange for a half-year of Ugie Urbina’s anger management issues, and now they have bupkis on both counts.

  2. I guess there’s only one thing I can say to that, and that is THANKS FOR PLONKERS WE LOOOOVE HIM. And do you know why his head is so huge?

  3. That’s just insane. I mean how dumb do you have to be to have EVERYTHING and throw it away because you can’t control your temper?
    Even if the assault in Venezuella turns out to be bogus (there’s some indication that he might be in on trumped up charges, but I don’t know the details) he’s still obviously thrown away jobs with teams because he can’t control himself.

  4. Mike, Ugie’s side of the story is that he went out earlier, saw these guys using his pool, yelled at them, went to bed. Some other people (also possibly employees of his? but not him) attacked them after he had gone. They’re claiming he himself did some of the machetein’ and gasoline pourin’.
    He’s been a target in Venezuela before from people who want his money (his family keeps getting attacked; his mother was kidnapped and held for ransom for 5 months), so it’s kind of hard to tell exactly what’s going on down there from our perspective.
    But, yeah, dude’s got a wicked temper.

  5. OK, I’ll play straight man… No, I don’t. Say, why *is* his head so huge?

  6. No no, I was actually asking. We’ve all wondered about this since he came to the Tigs. Like, is there a medical condition goin’ on up there? Because if not, that’s one WHACKED OUT skull structure…

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