we make Zack Greinke nervous


photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein

Poor Royals. Zack Greinke is supposed to be the star of their rotation, and the Tigers’ bats decided to go ahead and make today an ‘on’ day, knocking him out of the game after only 2 outs, with 4 earned runs to his name. Ouch. I’m sure that won’t help his confidence any.

In a hilarious continuation of recent trends, the bats only came on when the pitching was less-than-stellar. Verlander certainly looked glorious compared to The Grenk, but 3 runs over 5 innings isn’t… well, it isn’t a Bondo or a Nate kinda pitching perfomance, y’know? And stupid Jose Mesa’s 2 additional runs over 0.2 innings wasn’t exactly thrilling either.

Although Brandon Inge did not, sadly, partake of the hitting buffet, many others did, much to the delight of everyone. Carlos Guillen hit a MASSIVE blast, which we are informed was 438ft. Cor. Carlos Guillen also played superman-style defense, as you can see here. Oh, and Pudge’s GRAND SLAM was tolerable as well. Yeah, pretty nice. I didn’t leap upright and squeal… no, not at all… pretty darn nice.

Speaking of Pudge, he needs to stop being such a macho wanker. He came up limping after an at-bat; sore/pulled/whatevered hamstring. A couple weeks ago he took a ball off the foot that came in so hard it looked like he might have broken something. He insisted on remaining in the game. Today, he also insisted on staying in the game.

PUDGE. You have like a billion Gold Gloves. You don’t have anything left to prove.

But seriously, if we could get both halves of the team working together at once, we’d be unstoppable.

One response to “we make Zack Greinke nervous

  1. It probably didn’t help that Greinke’s grandmother died literally a day or two before that start. I think he gets a pass on this one.

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