photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein
No. It is not time to put Fernando Rodney out to pasture. It is time to let a man-eating tiger eat his face off. THEN maybe he will realize that this is SERIOUS BUSINESS and he has to GET HIS HUMDINGIN’ ACT TOGETHER or else he is GONE. GOOOOONE. Either because he is TRADED or SENT DOWN or if the team persists in believing in him in the face of all evidence, he will still be gone because the fans will take the initiative and throw him into the Detroit River.
So much dumb stuff that went on in this game. Why did Nate throw to first when the runner wasn’t that far off it, and, more importantly, The Mayor wasn’t even there? Why did that ball to Brandon Inge thump dead on the edge of the grass instead of, as it usually does, bouncing up? Why was Joel Zumaya so mortal today? WHY DO THE WRONG SOX EXIST?
At least we have an answer to that last question. A: TO INFURIATE AND VEX US.
DESPITE all this, we still had a shot at this game. Extra innings! Anything could happen!
What happened was that Fernando F’IN Rodney got in the game, and utterly failed at life, the universe, everything, and pitching. This is the SQUILLIONTH time that this has happened! Haven’t we learned our lesson yet? FEED HIM TO THE TIGERS.
This was SUCH a frustrating loss. In case you couldn’t tell.