just like old times: Jeff Weaver loses his mind in Detroit

Mike Rabelo is a powerful tiger, by Samara Pearlstein

Ahhhh, nothing quite like it. Jeff Weaver, back in Detroit, absolutely not in any way able to keep his business together. I mean, it’s sooooo 2001. We have been there, and done that, and now it’s Seattle’s turn to feel that particular brand of agony.

It’s always nice to be confronted by the failures of yesteryear, so that we can be sure of never ever ever underappreciating this year’s Tigers team. We are currently ON TOP OF THE DIVISION (barely. but still. think about how crazy it would be for us to even consider such a thing after the 2003 season). We have PROBABLY ONE OF THE BEST PITCHING STAFFS IN BASEBALL. We DON’T HAVE JEFF WEAVER. Do not take such majesty for granted, folks.

Weaver sitting all alone in the dugout because no one wants to sit near him… flipping out and throwing his gear all over the place in impotent rage…. ah, to never have to deal with that again. What a marvelous, freeing sensation. Why, it’s almost CHARMING to see him in his freakout mode when it’s for another team.

And what a marvelous offensive day we had. Magglio homered, OF COURSE, because that’s how Magglio Ordonez does these days. Respect to the hair, yo. Brandon Inge homered, because BRANDON INGE is now hitting OVER .200, which is a magical thing. It seems like just yesterday he was struggling to hit .100…. *sniff* how our boy has grown…

I fully expect him to be hitting .320 by the All Star break. Brandon Inge just had a slow start to the year, that’s all. His glorious defense will remain constant, and his hitting will now steadily improve. Just you wait and see.

The real story of the night, though, so far as I am concerned, is Mike Rabelo. Mike Rabelo went 3-for-4 tonight! With his VERY FIRST triple! And his VERY FIRST RBI! Oh, he is a veritable superhero now, muscle’in’ those hits out. Hence the image.

Just imagine, for a moment, a world in which Mike Rabelo learns how to consistently hit the ball…. imagine a world where he is tutored in the fine art of defensive catching by Ivan Rodriguez, where he is tutored in the fine art of pitcher handling by Vance Wilson. Imagine a world where his native backup-ness somehow manages to blossom into starting-ness. I mean, with those two behind him (around him?), he’s perfectly primed to take advantage of the situation and come into his own. I don’t see it happening with him, but man would it be nice to solve our future catching problems so tidily.

*insert fanciful catching-related Tigers dreams here*

Verlander pitched tolerably. I would have preferred to see him more efficient, but I would also prefer to see Bondo without blisters or anything even remotely resembling a blister, so obviously I don’t get everything I wish for. A win is a win, and for once the team managed to get the starter a decision. Always worth celebrating.


4 responses to “just like old times: Jeff Weaver loses his mind in Detroit

  1. ivantopumpyouup

    that illustration reminds me of that cell phone commercial.
    “sorry roger, you a tiger now!”

  2. It was doubly interesting to see Weaver matched up against Verlander… Anybody remember once upon a time when Weaver was drafted out of college, and rabid Tigers fans had high hopes for a quick advance to the majors and had images of Rookie of the Year Awards dancing in their heads? Yeah, it’s true… It really happened.
    And, right there, on the opposing mound… Verlander. Also drafted highly as a starting pitcher out of college. Now, your average rabid Tiger fan just hoped for the best for the kid… You know, once bitten, twice shy and all… And there he went, fantastic year, won the Rookie of the Year, and so far no discernable sophomore slump, either.
    Take notes, Jeff Weaver. That was how you were supposed to do it. On second thought, no need to take notes. It’s too late for you. However, you may wish to take notes on what pitches those Tiger batters were knocking all over the yard. Might just salvage what’s left of your career.

  3. That picture is oh-so-disturbing. I love it.

  4. Jeff, I think a lot of that comes down to Jeff Weaver= headcase, Justin Verlander=/= headcase. The talent was probably there for both of them. Weaver can’t handle the stress of the majors.
    Tiff, ivan, I am to please. Or disturb. You know, whichever.

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