tossing Tigers


photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein

Jim Leyland’s complaint/ejection/continued complaint gives me an excuse to reuse an old image. I feel no shame.

The win was good. It was starting to get ridiculous, the fact that it’s June and we hadn’t won against the Racist Logos yet. So it was nice to get that monkey off our collective back. We have enough problems with injuries without monkeys going around hanging off our guys, weighing them down and making them even more likely to fall while running the bases, leading to broken hips or something.

Everyone had at least one hit except for Polanco, and even he got on base and scored 2 runs. The offensive rundown could basically be ‘blah blah blah yesterday’s post, blah blah Magglio Ordonez is not human and we worship his alien powers,’ etc. Blah blah Magglio again, just because his offensive might right now cannot be denied.

The pitching was also OK, in the sense that the bullpen managed to keep their pants on and Todd Jones was nowhere to be seen. I would like to see them do this for more than one game in a row before I go and get too excited. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day and when you enter imaginary baseball time, where hours don’t count.

Really, this game was all about the hilarity of Justin Verlander and Jim Leyland getting booted. Like I said, I am cautiously refusing to get too hyped up about a win, even a good one; at this point, I need a few wins before I start being a happy smiley blogger again. But everyone can enjoy a good baseball argument, win or lose.

I particularly liked how Verlander managed to get himself tossed from the dugout. Calling balls and strikes? Maybe. Complaining about them on Durbin’s behalf? Perhaps. Doing so loudly and obnoxiously enough that it warranted an ejection?….. Apparently so.

Silly Justin, barking is for untrained puppies and baseball managers.

I also think the ump (Greg Gibson) might have it in for the Tigers in general. But even if he does have a fireplace full of Flaming Tiger-hate, Justin still went and provided him with the Log of Tenuous Reason to burn in it.

When Jim Leyland heard that Justin had been ejected, he went bonkers. Screaming, pacing, refusing to leave the field until he had said EVERY LAST THING that he meant to say, GOL DANG’IT. I guess if you’re an ump and Jim Leyland starts blowing a gasket all over the field, you have to tread carefully. On the one hand, you don’t really want someone as intense as Jim Leyland all up in your umpirely face, screaming at you. On the other hand, you really don’t want to laugh at the short old dude in high socks, because he could probably kick your rear… but he’s a short old dude in high socks, screaming at you, so it’s maybe hard to not laugh a little. But cats forgive anyone who laughs at Jim Leyland. They may not live to see the light of day.

Obviously Leyland’s freakouts have magical powers of Tiger persuasion. He flips out at the team in private, they shape themselves up. He flips out on the field, the Tigers get a badly-needed win. Jim Leyland’s wrath is an elixir… an elixir of VICTORIES. He can form winning out of thin air simply by glaring at the thin air. This is a proven fact. We have seen it time and time again with the Tigers. I can only assume that he did the same back when he was with the Pirates.

This is why we call him Jim Freakin’ Leyland. The man is a legend in happiness and in rage.

5 responses to “tossing Tigers

  1. Dave B Wagner

    I enjoyed Verlander’s uncensored cry of “This is a f**king joke!” upon ejection

  2. Agreed. The F-bomb being aired on FSN Detroit is a moment I will never forget. Priceless.

  3. ivantopumpyouup

    Me three! The look on his face was also priceless. Not to mention the hat perched precariously on his head. It all added up to serious lolz.

  4. The hat was the crowning touch for me. OH JUSTIN VERLANDER, YOU ARE FOR SURE BADASS. Now just pop the collar, and we’ll know you’re for real.

  5. Me and my mom were just waiting for a JLT (Jim Leyland Tirade) round Trois (three in French)

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