photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein
I’m afraid I don’t really have anything clever to say about the game today; I was out all day and didn’t see it. So I think I’ll go back to an old RotT standby– I’ll have a look at the boxscore and the recap and give you some haikus.
the rage of age
Manager so old,
Scary melting waxy cheeks.
Manuel thrown out.
Fabio was a hit-bot
Three seventy-one:
Magglio can’t stop hitting.
It must be the hair.
the eternal mystery of Fernando Rodney
If you’re hurt: DL.
If you’re just terrible: trade.
Why are you still here?
schadenfreude
Hilarity is:
Inge has a better BA
Than Ryan Howard.
more hilarity
On an AL team
Nothing is funnier than
Maroth pinch hitting.
Philadelphia is a strange place
WTF is a
Zagurski? And why is it
Pitching against us?
if you can triple, you can do this
Zoom! Zoom zoom zoom zoom.
Instincts maybe start to come,
Granderson steals more.
V is for Victory
Can’t make history
Every single day, Justin.
No no-hit; good win.
do the right thing
Best VORP in baseball,
How can you not vote for Maggs?
All Star outfielder.
Roar of the Tigers 
A comment on the haikus from someone who was in attendance:
rage of age: It was clear that Jim Leyland entered a battle of game strategy skills against an unarmed man.
Fabio: The only out Magglio made was a grounder swinging at the first pitch of his at-bat. ‘Twas funny to see him try to extend his league-leading doubles to 33 in the first inning and get thrown out by about 20 feet. He did draw the throw, however, and let Granderson score.
Mystery of Fernando: He actually pitched quite well, I thought. Entered in the 7th and got the only batter he faced that inning (K’d Wes Helms), and the run he allowed I had down as E-6, as it a grounder that got between Guillen’s legs, but it did take something of a wicked hop. His 8th inning really consisted of: Single, broken-bat grounder to Polanco that got the runner over, K, bad-hop grounder (run), J-Roll stolen base (is it just me or is Pudge having kind of a bad year in this department?), walk (on an 8-pitch at-bat), groundout to Inge by Utley.
Schadenfreude: Ryan Howard is having a bad year, but in the 1st inning simply hit the ball to the wrong part of the park. Granderson was waiting for it, just a little too much under that ball and hit to the deepest part of left-center. I had great seats and got a most excellent view of Bobby Seay striking him out in the 7th on a wicked slider he could only wave at.
More hilarity: Everyone in my general area couldn’t believe how both managers were managing this game like it was Game 7 of the freakin’ World Series. In the bottom of the 7th, we had 3 pinch-hitters and 3 pitching changes in the space of 4 batters. For what it’s worth, Todd Jones was facing Ryan Howard, then the lower half of the Phils’ lineup, and I was wondering if they were going to pinch-hit anybody, then I realized… They didn’t have anybody left on the bench, either.
Philly = strange place: Zagurski started the year in single-A ball, spent about 2 weeks in AA, but he has come up and performed well. Believe me, there are still plenty of people who wonder what a Zagurski is around here (though his build reminds me of a Phillie from days gone by with a somewhat similar name: Luzinski)… What was more important to the Phillies phaithphul yesterday was “What is a Yoel Hernandez, and why can’t he get anybody out?” (Y-Hern faced 7 batters, with only a Pudge fly ball to right to show for it.)
If you can triple: I was a little surprised that the Tigers managed to play some small ball in the 1st inning (already commented on the silly Magglio stretch-to-a-double move). I was more surprised at the end of the game that I had managed to watch a rarity among rarities: An entire game at Citizens Bank Park without a single HR by anybody, either team.
V for victory: It didn’t look too good when Justin walked off the mound after 6, but by time they actually pinch-hit for him, it was looking a lot better. Frankly, I’m still pissed that C-Mo is somehow getting a ton of ink this morning for his oh-so-wonderful hit and extending his reputation for “clutchiness” all the more… His other 4 at-bats were awful. I was absolutely beside myself that Leyland was batting him 3rd. Downright apoplectic. Worked out, though.
One of my Phillie phan co-workers who was sitting next to me asked who is a good catcher in the NL that he should vote for. I suggested Russell Martin, but also reminded him to be sure to vote for Polanco (who got nice applause from the Phillies phaithphul every time he was announced) and Magglio on the other side of the ballot. He informed me “too late, I already did.” I love that guy. And Magglio made up for his faux pas by hitting an actual double in the big 5-run rally… That’s 33 for those of you counting at home… You know, 33 doubles, even in Neifi Perez’s best years (and for any number of other players)… He’d consider that to be a damn fine total for the full year. Somewhere, Earl Webb is spinning in his grave with worry (for those who don’t know, he has the single-season doubles record — 67 in 1931 — a complete fluke, as he hit just 155 in his entire career).
I did get “called” on rooting for the other team by a Phillies phan… It was Phather’s Day, and the giveaway was straw hats with a Phillies band around them. I took mine, and held it under my clipboard whereupon I was scoring the game… I cheered for something (forget what now), and the guy across the aisle from me says “why are you wearing that hat?” Uh… Dude, I’m not wearing it. “Well, why are you holding that hat?” OK, listen, I live here now… I promise to root for the Phillies the other 159, OK? Somewhat to my surprise, he was OK with that and completely left me off the hook.
Fun times, though. Really should’ve worn the hat, however, because I wound up burning right at my receding hairline. Nothing severe, but still.
Best moment was between innings when the Phillies had their “kiss cam” on the scoreboard, with a cutout of a heart shape, and when all these various couples get on the scoreboard they kiss… The last couple they showed? Two guys with Olde English D t-shirts on. Needless to say, they didn’t kiss, just pointed at the D and generally made fools of themselves. Got a big boo from the Phillies crowd (yeah, *that* was totally surprising…. NOT).
One more thing… I was chit-chatting with a Phillies phan down near the Tigers dugout while the Tigs were taking BP (took BP *and* infield on a day game after a night game? Maybe they have to do it after every loss regardless of any other circumstances?)… Anyways, this Phillies phan goes down to Florida every year for Spring Training, and apparently the Tigers’ complex and the Phils’ complex are fairly close to one another, and he wanted to shout out to Mike Rabelo, as he’s kinda-sorta friends with Mike’s mom and dad. He kept pronouncing it “Ruh-BELL-oh” (rhymes with “Jell-O”), while I have sometimes heard it alternately pronounced “RAB-uh-low” (rhymes with “jab below”, which kinda sounds like the description of an illegal move in a boxing match). I would consider a guy who’s friendly with his parents to be something of an authority on this, so “Ruh-BELL-oh” it is.
I think the mystery of Fernando Rodney was more referring to the mystery of him in general, not necessarily for this specific game. Like I said, I did not have the pleasure of viewing this one.
When Mike Maroth gets in a pinch hitter, you know the game is a MUST-WIN!!!11!2!!1!eleventy-one!!
I voted a couple times for Russel Martin based on the stolen bases alone. :P
Dude, you always gotta wear a baseball hat at a baseball game! It is appropriate and you avoid such tragedy.
I probably woulda booed too. I mean c’mon, you can give your buddy a kiss on the cheek and it won’t strip you of all your manhood. You gotta have a little fun with it. You also don’t want to enrage surrounding Phillie phans.
I honestly think I’ve pronounced Rabelo both ways, interchangeably, because I have no idea. I popped over to ESPN because they often have name pronunciation on a guy’s profile, and Rabelo’s is “N/A”. ESPN for the fail.
I often have a problem with baseball hats… I’ll call it the Placido Polanco/Kevin Mench/Bruce Bochy problem… aka Too-Big Melon Disease. I did notice that other Tiger fans had placed their Olde English D standard baseball caps over their Phillies straw hats (not an option for me… Unfortunately, I haven’t yet found an Olde English D cap at http://www.bigheadcaps.com) or else had ripped the red strip with the Phillies “P” from the hat entirely (not an option for me, since I’ll be rooting for them the other 159, of course).
Best boo of the day: Jim Leyland goes out to chat with Verlander in the second inning, and is met with an absolute shower of boos, as if he had just disemboweled the cutest kitten of all time right there on the field for all to see. Just seemed overly vindictive for an innocent visit to the mound in the 2nd inning. Downright bizarre.