Todd Jones is frightening me.

photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein

I tried to convey the fear I am starting to feel when I see Todd Jones in that image up there, but I don’t think I’ve accurately captured the appropriate level of it. The Tigers were up 9-1 at one point, and the score was 9-8 when the game ended, thanks in no small part to Todd Jones’ sudden desire to give up 5 hits and 3 runs in the 9th.

On the one hand, you have to give Jonesy props for remaining cool-headed throughout that entire trying inning and being ABLE to get that last out (Fernando would not have gotten it because he would have been too busy screaming inside his own brains and trying to gnaw off his own right leg). On the other hand, WHY WAS IT THAT CLOSE AND THAT NERVE-WRACKING? OH THAT’S RIGHT, BECAUSE OF TODD JONES.

Maybe a (at the time when he came in) 4-run lead wasn’t enough to get Jonesy fired up properly? Maybe he wanted that Save stat really, REALLY badly, so he decided to take a nonsave situation and make it into a save. Only when he started giving up runs, he couldn’t stop, because he thought ‘well, a save is better than a nonsave’, and then he thought, ‘well, a dramatic save is better than a regular save’, and then we nearly hit disaster, because you can only get so dramatic before drama starts to equal LOSING.

I’m sure the Nationals had something to do with it too but, ehhh. *dismissive hand-waving gesture*

Exceptional Mental Makeup Mike Maroth hit a double today! It wasn’t some bloop hit like Bondo’s was either, it was a proper ball with some legs that made its way nearly to the warning track in centerfield. Real big-league hittin’. He later came around to score. Obviously the Tigers do well when their pitchers step up to the plate.

Chad Durbin, we’re waitin’ on you.

(I also want to note that since the game was in DC, I was seeing the Nats feed. The first time he came up one of them [nameless as always, I pay such close attention at the starts of games] pronounced Marcus Thames’ last name as “thayms”, as in, long A and actually pronouncing the TH. I was stunned. I’ve heard it pronounced “tems” like the river, and I’ve heard it pronounced “tims”, which is correct. I’ve never heard anyone actually say the TH before. They said his name properly later in the game, but I bet someone had to come in and correct them. Good job, Nats announcers. Top work.)


14 responses to “Todd Jones is frightening me.

  1. ivantopumpyouup

    that illustration is gonna give me nightmares, I swear to god.

  2. ivantopumpyouup

    Not unlike Jones’ pitching actually.

  3. Dave B Wagner

    “pronounced Marcus Thames

  4. Jules and I were trying to count the ex-Whitecaps in that park last night.
    Nook Logan, Fick, Zumaya, Infante, Inge, Rodney, Rabs, DE LA CRUZ (!!!!!!!!)
    Does Rogers count?

  5. Is this one of the stills from that new movie “Rollercoaster”?
    If Rodney didn’t gnaw off his own leg, your frightening photoshopian creation certainly looks up to the task.

  6. Ha ha ha, well, at least it’s half as scary as Todd Jones’ pitching is, yeah? I wonder if anyone can guess where I got the teeth from… :)
    Em, you could hold that up as a warning to your boys… like, watch out now, if you’re good you might end up on the Tigers, but if you misbehave, you might end up on the Nats…
    Iain, no, you’re right. You would be the expert, after all, heh. And now that I sound it out in my head I think that’s what I was going for to begin with, but things don’t necessarily come out the way you mean them to when you’re writing at 2:30 in the morning.

  7. Strange quirk of name pronunciation I have noticed this season: No one knows how to pronounce Chavez. The accent belongs on the first syllable, but almost every announcer I’ve heard insists on discussing “Eric Cha-VEZ.” Even the A’S ANNOUNCERS can’t get it right! And lest you think I am getting my wires crossed, I’ve heard Chavez say his name, and he uses “CHA-vez.” You’d think a person would be accepted as the leading authority on how to pronounce his own damn name.
    Hilariously, the only TV announcers I’ve heard get it right? Remy and Orsillo. Maybe the Massachusetts accent is an asset here?

  8. Jonesy was livid after lat night’s game. I almost went wild seeing my boy Nook Logan last night (6/18). he’s my favorite (not to mention cute :-P), and my cat Thomas Nook’s namesake.

  9. Actually, no. I’ve been taking Spanish on and off for years, and my understanding of the pronunciation tells me that CHA-vez is roughly correct. (If you want to get technical, the *proper* pronunciation would sound something like “CHA-bays,” with a soft S, the hard CH- rather than SH- sound, and a much gentler emphasis on the first syllable. And yes, the Spanish V does sound like a B. “SHA-vez,” as Eric himself says it, is an American approximation of it.) “Cha-VEZ” is the *really* Americanized version, I guess because it fits better with the rhythms of English.
    And, I mean, there’s no point in getting all worked up about pronunciation of foreign names, but baseball generally gets them at least roughly correct, especially the Latino names because there are so many Latino players. “Dice-K,” for example, works my nerves something fierce because it’s SO cutesy, but it is a good Americanized approximation of how Daisuke is pronounced, and it guarantees that I won’t be spending the next however many years gritting my teeth every time I hear “Die-sook-ay” or what have you. (Heh, former anime/manga geek with enough understanding of Japanese pronunciation to cringe at your average American’s attempts at the words.) So, given all this, it really sticks out to me how very many people in the business who have no problem with, say, “Encarnacion” simply cannot get a handle on “Chavez.”

  10. ivantopumpyouup

    The teeth, the teeth. From the movie version of IT? :P

  11. Cat, is ChaVEZ the usual pronunciation and Eric Chavez’ pronunciation is the Americanized version? That’s all I can think of.
    Lauren, your cat and my iPod. :P
    ivan, for shame. If you want a terrifying array of teeth, who do you go to? It is of course Pudge. :D

  12. The weird thing is, he’s NOT the only Chavez in baseball. What about Endy Chavez? Does he pronounce his name the same way the announcers do?
    ESPN, which sometimes has pronunciations for player names, has both of them as “shah-vez”… no emphasis at all. Maybe they don’t know either?
    The thing is, I don’t think cha-VEZ really does fit with the rhythms of English better. CHA-vez seems to flow better to me, a native American English speaker. This is a very weird issue.

  13. It is odd, isn’t it? I did some Googling that satisfied the issue for me, though. (I cannot believe I didn’t think to do this earlier. Duh.) When written in proper Spanish, “Chavez” has an accent over the A. At the risk of telling you the obvious (I have no idea how much you know about the language), when a letter in a Spanish word is accented, that means that emphasis should be put on the syllable the letter is in. This explains my lengthy confusion – I thought it was because I’d gotten so mixed up I couldn’t remember my Spanish properly, but it’s really because my linguistic instincts were telling me that, despite what made sense, the emphasis should be on the second syllable. Because without the accent, which I didn’t know about (or more accurately, remember – Chavez is a common enough name to pop up plenty in Spanish textbooks), that is how it would fall.
    I don’t know how Endy Chavez pronounces it, but I just Googled his name too, and it came up with and without the accent. However, English doesn’t have accents, and all the sources that leave it off are American-based and official. This is actually the one instance where I would trust Wikipedia over a more official source, because the entry is more likely to have been written by someone with a better understanding of how Spanish works.
    That is the definitive answer, though – Chavez is spelled with an accent over the A, and that means the emphasis falls on the first syllable, period. (I’m typing it without because I don’t know how to make an accent mark with a PC. One of the many, many things I miss about having a Mac.) I can’t explain the prevalence of “Cha-VEZ.” I agree that “CHA-vez” does flow better, but a) I am biased, and b) that was the only explanation I could come up with. I have a natural affinity for languages, but I don’t have the linguistic education to figure this one out. All I can say is that English is a weird friggin’ language sometimes.

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