an exercise in Tiger altruism

Who knew that Tigers exhibited such obvious signs of altruism?

What a character-building game this was. How very selfless of Justin Verlander, to make sure he lost this game fair and square, so as to not overshadow Jordan Tata’s first ever win the night before. You think the A’s are a pushover of a team with no power and no speed? You think Jordan Tata’s win was EASY? Justin Verlander will make sure you know how difficult that win truly was, so that you may appreciate it all the better.

No speed? Watch Travis Buck steal the bag! No power? …Well, OK, not really a ton of power, but you want doubles? WE GOT DOUBLES. Justin Verlander will give up the doubles, for you, so that you may realize how great Jordan Tata truly was when he did NOT give up multiple doubles.

Really the sort of brotherly behavior one would expect from a Detroit Tiger.

Unfortunately, while this game went a long way towards making Tata look fantastic, it did NOT go a long way towards making fans happy. This particular fan is tired (the Red Sox game was LONG) and generally beat (the Red Sox game was HOT). I did not stagger home to watch Justin Verlander start huffing and puffing and kicking around the back of the mound in a practically Derek Lowe-ian show of mental midgetry.

Noble intentions and all that, boys. But next time, cut out the altruism (or the terrible baseball, but I’m trying to be optimistic! and kind!), and just freakin’ WIN!

9 responses to “an exercise in Tiger altruism

  1. ivantopumpyouup

    The only way you could improve upon that manip is if you put little twinkles in their eyes. TRU LUV.
    Or Justin having a bad night, either way.
    Also, damn is Tata tan. Stay away from the tanning beds, Jordan, lest you want a repeat of Marty Cordova.

  2. You are crazy. And I can just see this being used as an example in a presentation on altruistic behavior in class…. :)
    I want to use that image as my Valentine’s card this year.

  3. Seriously, what is wrong with Justin??
    That picture though, is so totally going to be my desktop image. Swoon.

  4. Everyone at DTW is taking this game as proof that we’re all going to die and the Tigers suck and the sky is falling.
    But we’re still in first place…?

  5. I totally never thought of last night’s game that way. Tigery altruism … huh. Thanks for making me smile … last night’s game = not very smiley.

  6. Justin is a true friend. Can I pitch one game?

  7. ivan, yeah… I contemplated sparkles, but I had had enough of layers by the time I got this post up. :P
    PfP, I uses mah educations, I does.
    tiff, heh, I can send you a larger version if you want it for a desktop. That would be a VERY pink desktop, though.
    Adam, the sky isn’t falling. Buuuuut that first place slot is pretty tenuous right now, and getting more so with every game they lose.
    Colt, I do my insane best. :P
    Larry, you’d have to clear that with Dombrowski, Leyland, and Paws. Quite a gauntlet to run.

  8. ivantopumpyouup

    Ha ha ha, can I have the desktop version? I have a friend who’d be interested in it :P

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