Yankee do and Yankee don't (Tigers enjoy that last bit)


photo by Samara Pearlstein

Saturday was a sock monkey of a game. It was limp, ugly, and reminding you of old things that you really wanted to have thrown away by now but your mom totally found them and made a sock monkey out of them so now you have to keep them and look at them all the time even though you hate them so hard. That is a really long and tortured metaphor for Jeremy Bonderman’s first inning struggles. Holy freakin’ cats. STOP THE MADNESS.

Ugh. This story has already been told. I refuse to tell it again.

Let us focus instead on the positives! The positives like…. uh… well, Brandon Inge had a pretty great game. He basically manufactured that one run, you know, what with his little single and his fancy baserunning and his taking advantage of bad pitching… ing. It’s high time that Inge turned it around and started hitting like a real boy again, so this game was encouraging.

Also, Polanco’s error was reversed. I’m sure some Yankee fans will be frothing at the mouth over that, but all right-thinking people of the world will agree that it was the proper move. *disclaimer* I may have been out on Saturday night and thus did may not actually see the play in question. However, being a right-thinking person who loves life, liberty, and Placido Polanco, I am confident about this statement.

Sunday’s game was altogether more palatable, although it too had sock monkey moments, such as Jair Jurrjen’s shoulder hurting too much for him to go on, and Pudge getting himself thrown out of the game. But, given the way they’ve been playing lately, the Tigers will surely provide plenty of negatives to focus on soon enough, so FOCUS ON THE POSITIVES. Win. Yay.

Bobby Seay, to be exact, with the win. Don’t feel bad if you laugh. We all are laughing. For once, we are laughing WITH Bobby Seay, and not at him. Long have you waited, Bobby. Six long years have separated you from your last win, but today you shall wait no longer, for an injured starter has made your vulturish glory possible. Rejoice! Rejoice!

Zoom showed that he can recover from mental anguish as readily as ever by coming back today and doing his job well.

“It’s been a while since I struck anyone out,” Zumaya said. “And especially to strike A-Rod out, it just felt really good.”
MLB.com article

Yes, Zoom. It felt good for us all.

Curtis Granderson continues to be made out of 100% pure awesomesauce. Today he put Phil Hughes back in his rightful place as an object of scorn and derision. You may wonder what Phil Hughes has done to deserve such a position, but perhaps you are a simpleton who forgets that he is a Yankee.

Granderson has been extra-basing the snot out of the ball lately. We all know about the triples, of course, and his homerun total has also been pretty high, but today he started off the game with an INSIDE THE PARK HOME RUN, showcasing both his power and his speed in one glorious packet of awesomesauce. Tasty, tasty.

More of this, Tigers. (but maybe less of the bullpen. since they are probably the walking dead by now)

4 responses to “Yankee do and Yankee don't (Tigers enjoy that last bit)

  1. You may wonder what Phil Hughes has done to deserve such a position, but perhaps you are a simpleton who forgets that he is a Yankee.
    Laughed out loud in the office. Good times, people :-)

  2. I was at the game Sunday to witness my boyfriends Inside the Parker! I think he hit it just for me, but will need to attend many more games to verify this fact.
    Seriously though, what did we do to offend the baseball gods? Who else could be injured? I mean, I guess I shouldn’t ask that, unless I really want to know.
    Spazzasaurus… don’t forget to camp out in the Yanks locker room tonight, and get on their flight in the morning!

  3. I like the deranged photo illustration.

  4. Iain, I’m glad to contribute so fully to you misbehaving in the office. :)
    tiff, if they play like that when you’re there, maybe you just need to take one for the team and show up at every game for the rest of the season. You know. For the greater good.
    Larry, ha ha, you may be alone in that. :P It was 4 am and I was literally falling asleep as I was making it….

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