photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein
Here you go, A’s! Here, have the game! You want it? Take it! We don’t want it anymore!
What’s that you say? Every other team that we needed to lose actually lost today, so if we win we could pick up some much-needed ground? Ha! Double ha! That is CONVENTIONAL baseball theory! We have a new plan for this year, a plan based on UNconventional thinking, which means that we lose when everyone else seems to think that we should win! This way, we take people by surprise! And we love having the element of surprise!
What? Oh, you think that by giving up this game we’re wasting a nice little offensive performance from the B-lineup, which would be a great general morale-booster for the team? Maybe so, my elephantine friend, maybe so, but we prefer to think of it as motivation to hit more runs. Loads more! Because 7 runs should never be considered a safe lead!
Let us serve you up a NICE DISH OF GAME. Yum yum!
In case you missed this one, Nate went 6 innings and gave up 2 runs. The Tigers put up 7 runs through 5 innings to back him. Then Fernando Rodney came in and gave up 3 runs over 0.1 innings, all of them on a series of agonizing-to-watch singles. Todd Jones came in to pitch the 9th with a 7-5 lead (much reduced, of course, from 7-0, but still a lead that should have been enough…) and promptly gave up a single, followed just as promptly by a two-run homer from infant catcher Kurt Suzuki. He also had a dicey wild pitch.
Bazardo gave up the winning run, but tonight’s game should never have come down to him. Jonsey is the closer, not Bazardo, and (one would assume) there’s a good reason for that.
The Racist Logos lost today, the Mariners lost today, the Yankees lost today. We HAD to win, and it looked like we were going to win. Alas, the bullpen had to have its say. It’s like they just don’t want to have to play the extra month.
(sidenote: If you want to read me being depressed about Michigan football, there you go.)