Sheffield goes under the knife today


photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein

Despite the dramatic gore depicted above, this is SUPPOSED to be a fairly minor surgery. Gary Sheffield suffered from shoulder pain for much of the season, in part because he had collided with Polanco in July and in part because he already had the shoulder of an 80 year old man. This surgery will, I think, basically stick a little scope into his shoulder to poke around and see what the damage is. If it’s minor they’ll fix it right then and there, and if it turns out to be extensive they’ll probably have to go in another time and do something more drastic, such as replacing his entire arm with a sleek robotic limb that can crush CC Sabathia’s skull like so much soft cheese.

Sheffield had talked over the last couple weeks about possibly having surgery to shave down the bone in his shoulder, which he believed to be causing the trouble. It’s a procedure he has had twice before, though he hasn’t had it performed in more than a decade.
MLB.com article

I like the idea of Sheff having uncontrollable bone growth in his shoulder. It makes him seem much more like an X-Men style mutant (tell me that doesn’t sound like Marrow).

Everyone seems to be working on the assumption that no major damage is going to be found, and that Sheff will be up and running for Spring Training. Obviously I hope that’s the case because, personal and Red Soxian issues aside, I fully recognize that a healthy Gary Sheffield is good for the lineup, and if I have to imagine that it’s Paws up there in order to properly cheer when he’s batting, that’s my own problem.

BUT. We have Sheffield under contract through 2009. Do YOU really think his shoulder can hold out for two more seasons, even as a DH? I’m having some trouble with it. I had injury concerns about Sheffield when we first signed him (and concerns about his potential ability to disrupt the clubhouse. That hasn’t been too much of a problem, but that says less about Sheff [stick it in the butt! these are the things my race demands! those latins love me!] and a lot more about difference between a Leyland-run clubhouse and a Trammell-run clubhouse). He ain’t, as the saying goes, gettin’ any younger. I KNOW that this particular injury started because of a collision, but presumably we want Sheff next year to play just as hard as he did when healthy this year, and that means sliding and slamming into catchers and all manner of things, even if he’s not playing in the field. And remember, it looks like we’ve got Carlos Guillen locked in at first next year; Sheff HAS to DH, or else we have to (gulp) stick him in the outfield.

In light of all that, I definitely vote for the robotic arm. With Zumaya’s fastball and Sheffield’s robot arm and Polanco’s giant mutated head (so obviously containing a PSIONIC BRAIN), the Detroit Tigers are poised to become the next big superhero team in the AL Central.

6 responses to “Sheffield goes under the knife today

  1. I am just so very, very glad that there was a shout out to the dorks in the room… And I had no idea what you were talking about (well, I’ve vaguely heard of X Men, but, really, no idea about the specifics). Like the idea of Carsten Charles’ head as soft cheese.

  2. […] Roar of the Tigers | MVN – Most Valuable Network

  3. My fear is how ugly 2009 could get with all these old bodies clogging up the lineup and payroll. Part of me wished (wishes?) Sheff would have retired, just for that reason.

  4. […] Gary Sheffield is undergoing surgery today. Sam looks into it at Roar of the Tigers. […]

  5. Who was it that used to call CC Captain Cheeseburger? Batgirl, I think? Maybe one of her commentors. He’s definitely food, ‘tho I’m not quite sure why. And Jeff, I was referring to Marrow from the X-Men, if you feel like googling it. I admit to shameful geekery.
    Ugh, Kurt, that’s true. It puts a LOT of pressure on the ’08 team to get something done in the postseason. We do have a lot of young guys, but not in some key positions. That said, we ARE getting a lot of cheap youth out of our minor leagues nowadays… I’d feel a ton better about ’09 if we could just get a young catcher.

  6. Dammit. I thought I had the market cornered on nerdy comic book references in my Tigers blogging.
    Shot across the bow? I’m keeping my eye on you, Pearlstein. With Superman-like telescopic vision.

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