big bats take out the Yankees

photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein

Not everyone had a great day in New York. Guillen, Edgah, and Jacque Jones all failed to get a hit. But don’t tell Phil Hughes that; he’ll laugh in your face (a crazed, hysterical kind of laughter) and start gibbering about the big scary oversize bats all the Detroit hitters were using.

Kenny was not amazing. He walked too many guys, and 101 pitches after 6 innings is better than 101 after 5 but is still way too many. To be honest I’m not really sure how he managed to hold them to just 2 runs… with all the walks it certainly felt like it should’ve been more. It was loads better than I’d been expecting, though, what with his usual Yankee Stadium struggles meeting his current pitching slump.

Instead of merging those two troublesome trends and having some kind of mecha-trouble, he gave the Tigers a shot to win the game, and win it they did.

Polanco had maybe the best day, with 4 hits (one a double), 2 runs and 1 RBI, in 5 at-bats. Every time I see Polanco have a good game now I’m going to be thinking, ‘Is this the one? Is he coming back to full strength?’, and sure enough I thought it again here. The fact that his back is made of anguish and the tears of unicorns hasn’t helped him hit much this season, but if he can do what he did last night… well.

It was the home run that did Hughes in, though, and those came from Granderson and Sheffield. Lovely big home runs, they were. Curtis Granderson, of course, is perfect and can do anything, but a home run from Gary Sheffield in Yankee Stadium is particularly enjoyable. I know that Sheff has a LOT of former ballparks, but watching him pay it back to the Yankees is wicked pleasing.

So, good game on the whole, with too many walks issued by Tigers pitching, a trend disgustingly illustrated in the Wednesday matchup, where Bondo and Andy Pettitte have the same number of strikeouts to their names this season, but Bondo has more than twice the number of walks issued. Pettitte has a 3.23 ERA, a 1.43 WHIP, and a 3-2 record. Bondo has a 4.28 ERA, a 1.79 WHIP, and a 1-2 record. If that doesn’t illustrate to Bondo the seriousness of the problem, I’m not sure what will.

From the department of “Things Rod Allen Says That Pretty Much Only Rod Allen Can Get Away With Saying,” we have this, after the FSN cameras focused on a couple guys in the bleachers, dancing badly to the between-inning music:

Rod: “Usually brothas have rhythm, but that brotha’s not showin’ a lotta rhythm.”

Mario:Wow.”

I like Rod Allen, but sometimes I think being his on-air partner must be the most awkward thing in the world. What are you supposed to say when he says something like that? You can’t very well agree….

12 responses to “big bats take out the Yankees

  1. Ohhh yeah dave! I was totally gonna mention that and forgot in the excitement over the later insanity. Another moment where it’s gotta be wicked awkward to be Mario Impemba…

  2. wow Polanco, that is indeed a big bat!
    I’m hopeful for Sheff. I’m hopeful for the whole team, but for Sheff and his Dwight Gooden pleasin’ self.

  3. Yeah, you gotta believe that, as happy as it makes me to see Sheff stick it back to the Yankees, it makes him exponentially happier.

  4. *Cackling* I don’t know exactly what this says about me, but the second Rod Allen said that, I turned to my friend I was watching with and predicted you’d have something to say about that. Heeheehee. He’s ridiculous, but oh jeez, those dancing fiends in Yankee Stadium were ridiculous-ER.

  5. Ha ha, I think it says more about me than it does about you. SADLY.
    That one dude in the crazy shirt was kind of amazing, even though he was almost certainly a Yankee fan.

  6. My favorite part of the whole game:
    (Camera focuses on bat boy for some reason)
    Rod:That’s a very good looking boy. If he’s not already, he’ll be fightin’ the girls off!

  7. Tigers have traded Jason Grilli to the rockies for a minor league pitcher

  8. I know, I know… calm down people, it takes me a bit to make these absurd images. (that goes out to everyone who emailed me– thank you, yes I am aware by now, a post will be up shortly)

  9. My incessant giggling at this picture drew a few curious stares at the campus library this afternoon.
    Placido again seems to be swinging the massive bat tonight.

  10. Roar of the Tigers: inciting inappropriate behavior in public settings since whenever the hell I started over here.
    I should make it a mission statement.

  11. I think you should totally make that your tagline.
    I was at this game on Tuesday, it was amazing, no sooner had my Dad said, “I’ll cheer for Sheffield when he hits a home-run” after joining in on the Yankee fan boos, boom, off went a drive to left field…

  12. What is “Mecha-Trouble”?

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