perplexing Tigers behavior continues, but this time we are happily perplexed

photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein

So the offense decided to come out to play today. They scored a grand total of ZERO runs on Friday and a grand total of NINETEEN runs on Saturday. Is Boof Bonser really that much worse of a pitcher than Kevin Slowey? Going into his Tigers game, Slowey had a 5.49 ERA. Bonser had a 5.25 ERA before his game.

Obviously they’ve since gone in divergent directions, and ERA is such a coarse way of looking at a pitcher, but it is still mind-boggling that the Tigers can look like two COMPLETELY different teams against two not-overly-dissimilar pitchers. I mean, they made Slowey look like an All Star out there, and they made Boof look like an oversized little leaguer.

If I think too closely about this I suspect that my brain will simply explode, so I’m just going to accept this game as a little present and leave it at that.

Magglio went 3-for-3 with 4 runs scored, a walk, and 6 RBI. He hit two home runs. He is eating Boof Bonser up there at the top of the post because, seriously, LOOK AT THAT. Who hits like that? WHO ACTUALLY HITS LIKE THAT? Magglio freakin’ Ordonez hits like that, kids and kittens. Look upon his mighty hair and weep.

(Also, he seems to be starting a mustache. This is not quite so horrifying on him as it was on Bondo, but I do fear that if he actually grows the mustache out and keeps his hair like it is now, he’s going to look an AWFUL lot like a French musketeer. Which is fine, if that’s the look he’s going for, but I just don’t know that it is.)

It also seems worth pointing out that Polanco has somehow dragged his line back up to .294/.361/.405. I think he was batting .247 at the end of April. This is just Placido doing what he does, but there were people expressing concern about his ability to hit now that he’s a whole friggin’ season older, so I’m just sayin’. Look upon his mighty cranium and weep.

Nate gave us a solid start, and Aquilino looked good for 2.2 innings. It’s not like they had much stress hanging over their heads once the offense got going. Even after the Twins had 3 runs on the board, that was still a 16-run cushion for most of the game, as the Tigers stopped bothering to score after the 5th. Which is a little disturbing, but NO, I will NOT think about it, no need for head ‘splodey. I merely point it out.

Oh hey, exciting new blog feature! (note: blog feature not actually all that exciting) We have a FAQ section now! You can see it in that top row where the tags and links sections are, or you can just click this if you want. I think I covered all the most frequently asked questions, but if there’s something that you think should be in there that I’ve missed, PLEASE let me know.

Sunday Verlander’s up against some lifelong Minnesotan named Glen in a game that I will probably listen to on the radio because it’s in the middle of the day and we need to go buy shrubbery. GO TEAM!

8 responses to “perplexing Tigers behavior continues, but this time we are happily perplexed

  1. Love the FAQ, and glad Maggs got to feed well today. I hope the Tigers come out hungry tomorrow again, we really need to keep beating up on those cat damned Twins.

  2. The only thing I can think of is that an explanation of the Chad Durbin Is a Pimp phenomenon could be good. Of course that’s old news these days, but it’s still a big part of RotT. I think you covered everything else, though… Maybe some of the nicknames?

  3. I hadn’t noticed the mustache. This could be a matter of concern, and is worth keeping an eye on.

  4. Paul, PfP, thanks for taking a look at it. I’ll think about adding the Chad Durbin stuff, that’s probably a good idea. I can see how that might, um, confuse someone new to the site. :)
    dave, Magglio Mustache Watch ’08 commences. I didn’t see the Sunday game, just heard it, but I’ll be watching on Monday.

  5. ivantopumpyouup

    I was at that game. BEST SEATS EVER, BEST GAME EVER, MY HEAD EXPLODED.

  6. ivantopumpyouup

    Also, don’t ask how I was typing this with an exploded head.

  7. I agree..add the Pimp!
    I miss the anticipation of seeing what styling clothes Mr. Chad would be wearing after one of his good games…it did become a regular highlight.
    I’ve checked a couple Philly blogs and although he’s pimping a 1.95 ERA, they are not nearly as creative in their appreciation (or surpise).

  8. ivan, that would have been a sweeeeet game to attend. Lucky! I’ve been at some good ones this season, but none THAT good.
    Paisli, I fear they may not be appreciating him or his pimpalicious ways sufficiently over there. Which is pretty darn tragic, if you ask me.

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