congrats to Renteria, congrats to us all


photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein

Edgar Renteria got his 2,000th hit today. Yay Edgah! So, nu, it was not a majestic towering home run or anysuchthing; in fact, Edgah had to hustle his tail off just to beat it back to first, since the ball never left the infield. But a single is a single is a hit, and it all looks the same in an arbitrary milestone marker like hit count!

Edgah is the first Colombian ballplayer to record 2,000 hits at the big league level. Yes, it’s arbitrary. No, there is no actual reason why the 2,000th hit should be more interesting than the 1,999th or the 2,001st. But hey, we are human beings (with the exception of Paws), we are all members of a civilization with a base-ten math system, we get a kick out of numbers that end in lots of nice round zeroes. Hooray zeroes! Hooray 2,000 hits! Congrats to Edgah, from Tigers fans and Edgah fans and probably a whole lot of happy Colombians.

Other stuff from this game because I am too bloody lazy to do a proper post right now:

–The River Thames hit ANOTHER home run. This means that his last 8 hits have all been home runs, and he has homered in 5 consecutive games. They’ve mostly been big, no-doubt homers too. This is so crazypants that it’s practically crazygauchos. The River’s line right now is .256/.326/.624, which has to be one of the most deranged hitting lines I’ve ever seen. He is basically doing nothing EXCEPT hitting homers. Obviously this is not a, uh, sustainable baseball strategy, but it’s wicked fun to watch while it lasts, and he’s certainly doing his level best to stay in the starting lineup.

–There was a fan in the stands, all decked out in Giants gear, with an approximately life-size cardboard Barry Bonds cutout sitting next to her. Taped to this was a sign saying, ‘Talk to me when you get to 700,’ apparently aimed at The River. Which is clever, kind of funny, maybe a little overly dedicated, but who are we to call anyone over-dedicated?

The problem was that the fan appeared to be talking to it. To the Barry Bonds cutout, I mean.

Marcus: keep a wary eye out so long as you’re still in San Francisco. There may be crazy ladies comin’ after you.

–Ryan Raburn had a big home run too, which definitely would have been the hit of the game if The River hadn’t come along later and extended his crazy homer streak. Rod Allen’s take on the Raburn homer: “I mean, he lifted and separated!” Make of that what you will.

–Bengie Molina looks like a freaking Transformer in that chest protector.

–Pretty sure I saw Nate break out the rally gum for this one. They had a shot of Kenny shoulder-hugging Nate after Raburn hit his homer (which meant Kenny was in line for the win), and Nate had this gigantic bulge in his cheek. There haven’t been too many chances to break out the rally gum this season, so it was nice to see Nate workin’ his masseters again.

–Kenny! Seven innings, only one run allowed, FINALLY got the team to give him a win. He also put down a textbook bunt to move Granderson over to second. This bunt was seriously a thing of buntalicious beauty. He did not break his fingers or sprain his ankles or otherwise injure/embarrass himself at the plate. Starting pitching continues to honor the memory of their dear departed Jeremy Bonderman.

–Jeremy Bonderman, who by the way IS having surgery; this was confirmed during the game today. I don’t believe it’s been confirmed that he’s having the rib removal surgery specifically, but I wouldn’t be at all surprised if that’s what it was.

–Jonathan Sanchez had a no-hitter going into the 6th inning until Granderson broke it up with a single. I was thisclose to coming on here and posting ‘JONATHAN SANCHEZ IS THROWING A NO-HITTER’ to jinx the bloody thing.

–This is a random note from yesterday, and it’s from the Red Sox game, but the Sox are in Philadelphia right now, and that means I GOT TO WATCH CHAD DURBIN. He pitched extremely well (which was not good for the Sox, but whatever, Chad Durbin!).

Tomorrow Galarrrrrrraga goes up against a guy who once took photos of Bobby Kielty in the clubhouse bathroom and published them in Sports Illustrated. BUT IT WUZ ART! This one’s at 3:45 pm EDT, which is an awkward hour, but at least it should be over before 1 am. Go Tigers!

8 responses to “congrats to Renteria, congrats to us all

  1. Edgar has a chance at 3,000 hits, as he reached 2,000 at the age of 33.

  2. Being in Philly, I get to see Chad Durbin a lot. Rest assured that, despite his vastly different role (pre-setup, mostly), he is still big pimpin’ in the City of Brotherly Love.
    Can’t wait to see a proper use of the term “mastication” re: Nate and his gum.
    Being that I was in Philly, I was having a nice dinner with my gf at a sports place that had the game on… Could not believe my eyes that Sean Casey stole a base. A straight-up steal, 2 outs and he was the only man on. And it wasn’t even close. Rudy Seanez apparently cannot hold a runner on to save his life, this is the only logical conclusion.

  3. Thames and his country strong powerful homerun funk…. I know it won’t last long but I don’t mind the revelry as long as it does continue.
    And yay for 3:45 games! I hate the west coast!!

  4. I always think it’s a little indelicate of our Rod to exclaim “he lifts and separates!” Funny as heck, but not in the best of taste.

  5. I want to know how far Raburn hit that ball. That was insane.
    Also, you can tell that even The River is in awe of his country strength! He can’t stop laughing after he hits one!

  6. My brother and I were at this game. Let it be known that we jinxed Sanchez’s no hitter. I repeatedly mentioned it (annoying the Giants fans around me) and kept pestering my brother to say out loud that Sanchez was pitching a no-hitter with me to jinx it. He finally came around and said it while the Giants were batting in the fifth inning. Then Granderson broke it up the next inning. Sweet!
    The Thames homerun was awesome and huge. My favorite part is that the homerun came on a 3-2 count. The pitch before Thames thought was a ball and started to walk to first, but the ump called it a strike and he had to come back. The Giants fans were razzing him about it before the HR pitch. I bet they wish they could trade the HR for the walk now.

  7. Been kept silent of late by Crippling Baseball Depression. But the fog is lifting, for me as for us all! The hamsters have brought the enormous doses of Baseball Prozac that have restored us to emotional stability. Nice.
    And, man, the Thames thing is almost a little Creepy Weird, like it always is when the laws of probability seem to momentarily be suspended. You know that movie Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, where they keep flipping a coin and it keeps coming up heads, over and over? Or remember last year when the freakin’ Rockies were winning, like, eighty straight games? Weird.
    But, all said and done, you’ve gotta love the River. Roll on, mighty River!

  8. everyone: COUNTRY STRONG!!!
    Jeff, I am jealous of your Durbin access. Hee. And it’s also possible that the Sox are just so familiar with Seanez’ motion that they were able to send… well, even Sean Casey.
    Less, it is a little indelicate, but the fact that he’s so crazy makes it hard to be offended. Like, who would be offended by that? It’s not even clear what he actually MEANS, yanno?
    Lou, I’m glad someone was in there fighting the good fight.
    Matt, hey, the laws of probability don’t PROHIBIT something like a hundred heads in a row, or The River hitting only homeruns. They just make it really, really unlikely. But still possible! :P

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