photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein
Heeeeeey, Eddie! Wow, it’s great to meetcha! I’m the American League! Welcome to me!
Sorry Eddie, didn’t quite catch that. What’dja say there?
*more muttering about already playing with an American League team*
Oh Edster, no no, that ain’t how it works! See, you’re a pitcher, what counts is when you pitch AGAINST an American League team!
Aw heck, you don’t mean… you didn’t think it was ALL like the National League, didja? Awwww, I’m sorry, kid. It can be rough over here for a pitcher, yeah, I know it.
Hey, hey. It ain’t just you, yanno? Lotsa guys, um, give up 7 hits and 2 walks and 5 runs in 2.2 innings. Happens to everyone sooner or later!
*mumbles that only 2 runs were earned*
Sure! See, there ya go. It ain’t so bad.
*quietly asks why HIS bats weren’t so good if the bats are good in the AL*
Well. Well. Stuff happens, yanno? I mean, Nick Blackburn happens to your team sometimes! And then whaddya gonna do? Joe Nathan happens, whaddya gonna do? It ain’t pretty when it does happen, but you just gotta shake it off and look to tomorrow. I mean, who you guys playing tomorrow?
*mumbles ‘the Mariners’*
OK! So that’s what you gotta do, you just forget about the Nick Blackburns and the Carlos Gomezes of the world and you go out there and hope you can handle the team with the worst record in, well, me.
Look on the upside, kid: you still got better numbers than Nate Robertson.
That’s the spirit!