the rain delay was really just piling extra insult onto the Royals


photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein

Rain delay? Pssh, doesn’t bug US! Team that beat the kibble out of us early in the season? Pssh, that was then, this is now! Night following a high-scoring game? Pssh, we spit upon stupid baseball superstition! Pitchers other than Jimmy Gobble? Pssh, we laugh at them ALSO!

Stupid baseball superstition, in case you’re beatifically unaware, states that if a team scores a stinkin’ lot of runs one night, they have to suddenly find themselves unable to hit on the subsequent night, because they will have ‘used up’ all their hits or ‘burned out’ all their bats. Yesterday the Tigers scored 19 runs on 18 hits. Tonight they scored 7 runs on 12 hits. Stupid baseball superstition can bite our fuzzy little tiger-striped butts.

As with the previous game, I would feel kind of bad hyping up the Tigers batters for credit, because the scoring was pretty clearly the result of terrible Royals pitching. Kyle Davies threw 96 pitches in four innings and that had nothing to do with the rain.

Kenny, however, had a very good game, only tossing 80 pitches in six innings. That’s not, like, amazingly awesometastical or anysuchthing, but it would certainly have been good enough to get him through an additional inning or two if we hadn’t had an extremely long rain delay. He gave up four hits (mostly to Mark Grudzielanek, who appears to have a secret mental bond with Kenny that allows him to know what pitch is coming), one run, and one walk. He also struck out four, which is all kinda of good compared to the single walk. That’s more the Kenny we knew and loved elsewhere/elsewhen and less like the Kenny we’ve been seeing for much of the year, the one who has more walks than Ks to his name.

There was one super weak moment of the game. Apparently the Royals do the whole kiss cam thing, and at one point they focused on Verlander and Miner, who were next to each other on the rail. The Tigs refused to play along, not even to the point of chaste kisses on the cheek. Andy Van Slyke was laying into them afterwards, as he should have done. As Rod Allen so succinctly and appropriately said, “Ain’t nothin’ wrong with a little peck on the cheek.”

Anyways, are we sure this is the same team that eviscerated us in April and May? I mean, are we REALLY sure? Because it seems kind of impossible.

Wednesday’s game is Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrmando vs. Zack Greinke’s nerves, at 2:10 pm EDT. Awful start time, that. I blame Kansas City and all its other fake time zone ilk. Go Tigers!

11 responses to “the rain delay was really just piling extra insult onto the Royals

  1. Andy Van Slyke believes in the kiss cam and so should you!

  2. oh my…that picture.
    I fall asleep watching games that take place in imaginary time zones.

  3. I think Comerica Park used to have kiss cam back in the day. I remember being at a game back in 2005 where they put kiss cam in effect.

  4. We’re a little slow with things like innovations in KC. Kiss cam is probably passe now.
    Great Gobble picture, by the way.
    It’s hard to take this site seriously, however, when you use words like awesometastical.
    Good luck today Tigers, although you may not need it.

  5. David, what Andy Van Slyke believes is probably harshly enforced in the clubhouse.
    tiff, I fall asleep while writing blog entries about games in imaginary time zones.
    Lauren, it’s probably something that everyone has to try at least once, you know, like calamari or something.
    Big Lee, how can you see that Gobble picture and assume this is a site that tries to take itself seriously? :P

  6. I was at a Sharks game once and they kiss-cammed two of the opposing players, and the one guy grabbed the other one by the helmet, yanked his head into position and smooched the top of it. Not the most romantic thing ever but we were laughing pretty hard. If Miner can be okay with riverdancing while on camera in the Oakland bullpen, he can give Verlander a peck. Seriously, is it any less awkward that patting someone on the ass???
    P. S. Blogs that take themselves seriously are no fun. ;)

  7. I’m pretty sure Rod and Mario themselves have been kiss cam’d before, and IIRC Rod grabbed Mario and planted one on his giant bald forehead. Which was pretty great, naturally. I don’t get why it’s a big deal– it’s cute, it’s funny, and if you can’t jokingly kiss your buddy of ANY gender on the cheek maybe you want to reexamine why you’re so insecure in your sexuality– but Verlander probably got all nervous, ha ha.

  8. I missed the Miner/Verlander “kiss”, anyone have a Youtube link?
    Your picture of the day: where in your brain do these ideas come from?

  9. The (sad) point was that they didn’t kiss, because they’re big weenies. That’s what Andy Van Slyke was yelling at them about, heh.
    As for the picture… I was actually just going to post the plain photo of the groundskeeper, ’cause it’s one of mine and it was late. I was looking at it and I was kinda caught by the spot where he was spreading the DiamondDry… got to thinking, ‘hmm, you know, I could put Trey Hillman in there like he’s being buried’, and then it was obvious that I had to put Kenny’s head on the groundskeeper.
    I swear this stuff seems logical when it happens.

  10. ivantopumpyouup

    lol, hockey players seem to be cooler about the Kiss Cam than most.
    I was very disappointed in Verlander and Miner. If you can’t jokingly kiss your teammate, who CAN you jokingly kiss?

  11. ivantopumpyouup

    You know, they should have Kiss Cam’d Pudge! He probably would have done it.

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