photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein
Guess who’s back? That’s right, it’s our old friend the ANSWER HAMSTER (sweeps version), chillin’ with Arrrrrmando Galarrrrrrraga, because today Arrrrmando had all the hamsters against the Royals.
How do we know that Arrrrmando had the hamsters? Well, first of all, we did get the sweep, a most fitting revenge for what the Royals did to us earlier in the season. Granted, the Royals of Right Now are not playing like the Royals of Back Then, but someone still had to have some hamsters if we were going to sweep them.
Secondly, Arrrrmando was PERFECT through six innings. Perfect! No runs, no hits, no walks. The Royals broke it all up in the 7th, and Arrrrmando ended up giving away a single run on three hits and one walk, but that’s still a great outing by pretty much any standard. He struck out 7 guys too. Greinke struck out 8 guys in 6 innings, but he also gave up 7 hits and 5 earned runs, so the Ks are only worth so much.
Arrrrmando’s ERA is down to 3.27 and his WHIP is down to 1.16. Opposing batters are hitting .213 against him and his K/BB ratio is 1.97 (compare that to Kenny’s K/BB ratio of 1.02 [vomit] [the higher this number is, the better it is, because that means the guy is striking hitters out much more often than he is walking them… a K/BB ratio of 1 means that a guy is issuing Ks and walks at the same rate, and a K/BB close to zero would be horrific and would mean that a pitcher was giving up loads of walks and not striking anyone out at all] [for instance, before he went down, Dontrelle’s K/BB ratio was 0.24, which is so bad that the mere sight of it should cause children to have screaming nightmares]) (big parentheses!) (mmmm, [brackets]).
So, obviously Arrrrmando has the hamsters right now. He is cuddling them and taking good care of them.
Miguel Cabrera and Magglio Ordonez and Placido Polanco all had good games at the plate (again!), although I am starting to get a bit bored with singles and would like to see at least two out of those three guys get their OPS numbers up around .900 again. I know Polanco isn’t going to do it, since he has only a passing acquaintance with power hitting, but Miggy and Maggs both have career numbers in that area, and it would be awfully nice if they could rebound to that level, dontcha think?
Tomorrow is an offday– I think we will probably have a photo post with the stuff from Baltimore– and Friday we start the OMG SUPER BIG BAD SERIES OF DOOOOOOOOM against the Wrong Sox. It’s at 7:05 pm EDT (woo hoo, we’re back to regular hours) and ought to be Nate vs. Gavin Floyd, who to be honest kind of scares the pants off of me right now. You cats don’t need me to tell you how OMG SUPER BIG AND IMPORTANT this SERIES OF DOOOOOOOM is or how evil the Wrong Sox are, and to keep from offending readers with delicate sensibilities we will refrain from detailing the bloody satanic sacrifices Ozzie Guillen had to make in order to make his team so good this year. Hopefully we can render all this moot with some nice wholesome victories for the good guys. Go Tigers!