jermaine dye is a bad human being

photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein

hey, it’s friday night/saturday morning, no caps for you.

when i left to go out, the tigers were up. only by one run, but still. up. ahead. WINNING THE BASEBALL GAME. when i returned home, in no fit state to deal with EVIL WRONG SOX, i see that we lost.

what happened? i mean, i know what happened: todd jones happened, mostly. still. we were winning, and then we were NOT, and i was baffled and saddened and bewildered and all sorts of things that i generally shouldn’t be when coming in from the bar on a friday night.

ugh. ugh, ugh, ugh. this is SO not how we wanted to start this series. and we used three relievers too… this is just not what we need. not against the wrong sox, not with the division on the line.

i was all concerned about gavin floyd, and look how that worked out. he turned into a near-non-factor, but the tigs just couldn’t get much done against their relievers. i can’t even process this right now, so let’s break it down.

who: todd jones, jermaine dye.
what: homeruns, wrong sox, bad people doing bad things, LOSING, stupid divisional matchups
when: after i left for the evening, APPARENTLY
where: detroit
why: because todd jones rides the ragged edge of disaster, and because jermaine dye is a bad person
how: the postgame evidence suggests a home run.

this would suck if it came against any team, but the wrong sox in particular are just an awful team for this, both because of the divisional situation and because they’re the wrong sox and always deserve to lose in a world of righteousness. at least the twins also lost. there is that very small consolation.

tomorrow (today, at this point… saturday, anyhow) is another DOOM DOOM DOOM series, verlander vs. the dank danks. it’s again at 7 pm edt, so i probably won’t see it. if i have to come home to this sort of thing two nights in a row, it’s gonna get ugly around here. just bear that in mind, boys. go tigers!


One response to “jermaine dye is a bad human being

  1. Gary Sheffield needs to be fired. All he is is just an automatic out. Jim Leyland respects him WAY to much and continues to play him and take at bats from people who can still hit.

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