Paul Byrd eats Tiger bats


photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein

This sort of thing must stop. I understand, of course, that even an offense like that of the Tigers will run into a great pitcher every so often, but… Paul Byrd? Not really that pitcher.

The Tigers managed only 4 hits all game long, with only one extra base hit (a double by Granderson). Kenny didn’t pitch so hot, and Aquilino gave us great relief (2.1 innings with no runs, only a single hit allowed!), but neither of those things mattered all that much after the way that Paul Byrdie had got his teeth into the offense. I mean, c’mon, Tigers. Birds don’t even HAVE teeth.

I also feel cheated by false advertising here. I was repeatedly and firmly informed that the Racist Logos were not good right now, that the Tigers were on a hot(ish) streak, that the only divisional worries were the Twinks and the Wrong Sox. Now we get badly beaten by the R.L.s, one of the NONteams in the AL Central. REFUND!

I have to get up at stupid o’clock in the morning Tuesday for jury duty (whee), so this will have to be short. Tomorrow is another 7 pm EDT start, pitting Arrrrrrrmando against former Wrong Sock, former Tiger Matt Ginter. In fact, prior to this year, he hadn’t pitched in the big leagues since he pitched for Detroit in 2005. O how the time flies. Go Tigers!

5 responses to “Paul Byrd eats Tiger bats

  1. Grrrr. I hate birds.

  2. Matt Ginter pitched for us in 2005? I apparently have blotted out the memory.

  3. It is one of the most baffling and frustrating phenomena in professional sports – Paul Byrd is by most measures a mediocre pitcher, yet in every outing against the Tigers he suddenly morphs into a Cy Young award winner! If he pitches against us again this year I’m not even going to watch the game. I already know what will happen!

  4. Hum, Ginter… I’ll need to see him to refresh my memory. Hopefully he’ll be as memorable tonight as he was for our Tigers back in the day.
    I’m also going to look up Byrd’s splits against the Tigers over his career I swear he even ate us alive back in his Royals days. But maybe it’s just the psychic trauma from last nights game addling my mind.
    Please Tigers find your inner kittens and hamsters.

  5. This image gives me The Fear. I mean, wow, how has no one mentioned those hellish TEETH?

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