Justin Verlander can see the tendonitis coming a mile away.


photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein

I’m so glad that we wasted Verlander’s arm on that pathetic loss of a game. And I do mean WASTED, as in, “Dude, you totally WASTED that squirrel with your front bumper!” Hey, what’s 130 pitches between friends, right? So what if it was the most pitches he’s thrown in a single game in his major league career? So what if he’s a pitcher WHO’S HAD ARM FATIGUE ISSUES BEFORE? So what if he’s thrown 100+ pitches in PRETTY MUCH EVERY GAME HE’S STARTED THIS SEASON?

LET’S JUST USE HIM SOME MORE!

I mean, hey, maybe next time out he can throw 200 pitches and we can pretend he’s high-school-age Daisuke Matsuzaka! And we can lose again! Ha HA! Jolly good fun!!

Of course what else could we have done today? The bullpen was filled with dead and dying relievers, dragged to the ballpark by Chuck Hernandez and carefully moved from the clubhouse come gametime by a bat boy with a wheelbarrow. The only possible positive pitching outcome would have been an efficient outing from Verlander — say, under 100 pitches in 7 or 8 innings — but clearly that’s crazy-talk.

The best thing about this game was that a dinosaur threw out the first pitch using its mouth. Pretty sure Mario said it was a baby T Rex. It was all downhill from there.

Thursday’s game, 8:11 pm EDT, Zach Miner vs. some damn Wrong Sox or other. It would be nice to salvage one win from this series so we don’t have to slink out of town in complete disgrace. Also I would like a spacious air conditioned art studio with easy access to a cheap coffee shop, and a pet serval.

Go Tigers!

11 responses to “Justin Verlander can see the tendonitis coming a mile away.

  1. The dinosaur was a very nice touch… I agree that was the best part of the game.
    Miner has been looking ok lately… I’ll take that last game as a win on the way out of town in order to numb the hangover the season is rapidly turning into.

  2. We’re Tigers fans. While winning is in our history the last couple of decades have given us a chance to be familiar with crappy seasons… and shame and maybe comical self injury.

  3. OMG, if the White Sox have a trained Spazzosaurus that sure would explain our bullpen troubles against them. I can’t believe it didn’t cross my mind. To openly have your ace in the hole throwing out the first pitch like that right under our noses. I would never have thought they would so blatantly flaunt their taming of the ever so dangerous Spazzosaurus. Hopefully he’ll go feral next season and feast on his former masters arms.

  4. I must be in the minority, as I had a different take from you and Kurt on how Verlander was used in this game.
    Obviously, I didnít watch the game all that closely because I didnít realize he threw 130 pitches. That’s not going to accomplish anything, really.

  5. […] From a pitching management standpoint it is inexcusable. With last night’s start, Justin Verlander now leads all of baseball in pitcher abuse points. He’s thrown more pitches than any other pitcher in baseball this year. And for what? A 5-1 loss in a season that is already decided? The Tigers just wanted to make sure that all their young pitchers end up on the DL? […]

  6. “Thursdayís game, 8:11 pm EDT, Zach Miner vs. some damn Wrong Sox or other. ”
    Ha! Nice.

  7. librarymonkey27

    there is a certain philosophy in baseball/sports of ‘win now’ and I think some of what is going on with 130 pitches is that, unfortunately (and I agree with you) we are using up Justin’s/the Tigers’ future

  8. Paul, do you think he might have been related to the Spazzosaurus? It would explain a lot…
    David, so very true. This isn’t nearly as bad as 2003. Those pesky expectations just make it more agonizing.
    Ian, I agree that he did a good job just staying out there, because we really did need that, and who knows how long we would have had to suffer if we’d let the bullpen take over more of the game. But… risking the arm of middle reliever is a good deal more acceptable than risking the arm of Justin Verlander, y’know?
    Dave, :)
    librarymonkey, this was definitely a ‘win win win NOW’ year (what with the trading away of the entire system for Dontrelle and Miggy), and it’s almost like Leyland hasn’t quite given up on that yet… although by now he probably should have done so, at least where pitcher use is concerned. It would be a lot easier to take an outing like this if we were right in the pennant race.

  9. Leslie Monteiro

    Great take, Samara. I agree with you. I thought it was dumb to make Verlander throw that many pitches in the seventh inning. Yes, Leyland wanted to keep this close at 3-1, but the season is over so why kill Verlander’s career by overusing him for this spot. There was no point using him once he reached 110 pitches. 130 pitches was asburd to say the least. This wasn’t a great move to say the least.

  10. ivantopumpyouup

    The only thing that would’ve made this picture better was if it was a white outline rather than a black one. ;P

  11. Paul, I really am hoping it turns around and starts consuming them. If they have a rash of player spazz-outs anytime soon, we’ll know what happened…
    Leslie, I don’t think the season is 110% over, but yeah, the policy of repeatedly running Verlander into the ground (he’s already thrown the equivalent of 3-5 extra games this season, compared to where he was at this time in ’07 and ’06) in the midst of a season where we can’t even sustain a .500 record doesn’t sit well with me.
    ivan, I tried it in white, but it didn’t show up as well. :P

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