Tigers vomit all over Comerica, call it baseball.


photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein

I AM SO GLAD THAT TODD JONES IS BACK WITH THE TEAM!!

0.2 innings pitched, 3 hits, 3 walks, 0 strikeouts, 5 runs (3 earned)

Three errors on the night! MAJESTIC!

Eight of Baltimore’s 14 hits went for extra bases! Three of Detroit’s 11 hits went for extra bases! POWER IS NOT JUST THE THING THAT MAKES THE BIG LIGHTS TURN ON WHEN IT GETS DARK OUT, GUYS.

Nine walks for the Orioles! Two walks for the Tigers! OBP MEANS ON BASE PERCENTAGE, NOT OH BOTHER with that PIDDLE.

I didn’t even see this game and it’s still making me tear my hair out in frustration (of course I also dragged myself all the way downtown and got rained out of a Paul Byrd/Roy Halladay matchup, so I am maybe a LITTLE surly in general).

Tomorrow it’s Verlander/Sarfate at 7:05 pm EDT. Will we play baseball, or will it be vomitball? No one can say for sure! Go Tigers!

5 responses to “Tigers vomit all over Comerica, call it baseball.

  1. I will finally come out and say it: I have never liked Todd Jones. His facial hair has always bothered me and now that he is vomiting all over the pitching mound I can stand up and say boo Todd Jones, boo!
    I think I just don’t like mustaches or ralphing all over the baseball field.

  2. Leslie Monteiro

    This whole season has been vomitball.

  3. Leslie, I think you are right.
    I keep saying go Tigers but for some reason, deep down inside, I just know they’re going to find a way to disappoint me again, and again, and again.
    This is the kind of hurty season that makes me want to stay under my comforter and not watch any more games. Can it please be 2009 already?

  4. See, I dig the mustache. I think that particular mustache is one of those things that does not work at all outside of baseball, but is awesome within the context of baseball. The vomiting, though, not so much a fan of that.

  5. By the way, I was totally behind the Jason Giambi ‘stache… Not because it looked particularly great (indeed, it was quite hideous), but because that was classic ballplayer right there: in a big hitting slump, grow a ‘stache for a few days and you’ve gone 6-for-9, keep growing it. I noticed a week or two back, he’s in a 10-for-his-last-75 slump or something like that, and off it came. Classic.
    I will never not like Todd Jones. There’s plenty of blame to go around for 2008, and Jonesy gets some of it, but really less so than a lot of guys, truth be told. That other Jones fellow (remember when Jacque was on the team earlier this year?) comes immediately to mind.

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