Tigers score late, Farnsworth nearly erases all, blogger suffers greatly

photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein

A win is a win. A win is a win. I must repeat that, over and over, before I can even begin to think about this game.

Scott Feldman held the Tigers scoreless for 6 innings. That’s the first point of disgust and horror, right there. This is the very same Scott Feldman who gave up 10 runs in under an inning against the Red Sox in his last start. I get that the Red Sox in Fenway can be, you know, a bit MUCH, but it’s not like the Tigers can’t hit (theoretically). Six innings of tearing my hair out. Props to Feldman, I guess? I’m really more inclined to blame our logic-defying Bats of Absurdity.

Feldman and later Frank Francisco (a clubhouse chess force to be reckoned with, according to CJ Wilson) eventually remembered that they were Rangers pitchers, and pitched accordingly. The Tigers woke up from their jet lag or whatever the heck was going on with them, and started hitting accordingly. Sheff homered, Granderson tripled, many cats stood upon the bases, all seemed well.

THEN CAME KYLE FARNSWORTH. Kyle Farnsworth, who was basically unable to get outs in anything even remotely resembling an efficient fashion.

This is the thing: I like The Farns. I liked him as a Cub (probably because his pitching had no bearing on me as a fan and I could just enjoy his antics), I liked him as a Tiger the first time around, and I liked him just fine in Atlanta, and I disliked him less than most of the other Yankees. But he is making it very, VERY hard to like him right now.

And please tell me that I’m not the only one who noticed that he has a new tattoo? He’s had the (overplayed) barbed wire thing around his bicep for a while, but this is… I’m not sure how to describe it, it’s kind of like he extended the barbed wire down past the inside of his elbow, and has it morph into some weird vaguely tribal-tattoo-esque thing on the inside of his forearm. Which, whatever: I don’t necessarily expect ballplayers to have good taste in tattoos. But I am PRETTY DAMN SURE that he did NOT have this tattoo when he first came over from New York – this photo is from August 2 of this year.


I really, REALLY hope that it was just the result of Miggy drawing on him with a Sharpie before the game or something. Because otherwise… oboy.

Anyways. We did win! I know it’s not at all clear from the blog post up to this point, but although we did try very hard to not win, in a variety of ways, we pulled it out in the end. Extra special props for this have to go out to Granderson, who hit TWO TRIPLES in the late innings. He only had two hits on the day, in fact, and both were triples. This is because Curtis Granderson is really really fast, and also because Curtis Granderson is a perfect human being and the rest of us can only hope to bask in his glorious presence.

Fernando continued to not be terrible at pitching, so the tentative, quivering hopefulness on that front has not yet been cruelly snuffed out.

On Tuesday Arrrrrrmando goes up against Vicente Padilla at 8:05 pm EDT. Every single other Tigers announcer/writer has already made the ‘ooooooooo bet Texas wishes they still had Galarraga, eh? EH??!!?’ comments/jokes, so I’ll spare you that. But you know they wish they still had him, EH??!!! *wink wink, nudge nudge etc.* Go Tigers!


9 responses to “Tigers score late, Farnsworth nearly erases all, blogger suffers greatly

  1. ivantopumpyouup

    Ahahah, I told PfP the tattoo looked like an unholy union of barbed wire and a scorpion. STAY CLASSY, FARNS.

  2. Fernando has been better than not terrible over the past couple of weeks, and seems to be firmly entrenched in the job. I actually like the guy, but I am a hopeless optimist.

  3. Grand illustration!

  4. Indeed, painful to watch .
    I understand, you gotta play your trade …
    (Get your moneys worth and all .)
    But – C’mon – this guy is not living up to the part –
    I say shelf him, send him down to AA – Something …
    I’d put money on an ambitious MudHen call up
    over this guy Farnsworth … Sheesh !
    Fans left thinking – We traded away Pudge for THIS GUY !?
    Right Right – a win is a win is a … WTF ?!
    At what cost though ? Leylands BP was prolly threw the roof at that point – can’t be good for the Ol’ ticker …

  5. And the tattoo … erm ahh … No comment .
    (And you can quote me on this …)
    2¢ more (go buy a piece a gum)

  6. Farnsworth must be starting to believe he really is the man the Dugout paints him as being.

  7. Oh wow, I was talking with some other people about the tattoo and how it seems like he actually did get one in the middle of the season. Crazy crazy Kyle. Even if it has nothing to do with him sucking (and it probably doesn’t, it didn’t look particularly swollen or anything), it’s just a stupid, pointless risk to take.

  8. ivan, that’s a good (read: terrifying) way to describe it.
    Leshnock, hopeless optimist indeed. :P I still feel that little twinge of fear every time Rodney comes out, but hopefully that will dull with time and lack of suck.
    Deaner, of course you’d like that one. :)
    The D, I’m not sure sending The Farns down would help him at all – he’s such a headcase that it might actually be worse than letting him suffer at the major league level right now. If we were in a tight pennant race, maybe it’d be worth it. As it stands right now, though, I fear we’re probably stuck with him.
    David, I think the Dugout has had a scarily accurate view of The Farns. Except for the bit with the cookie baking. Nobody could have predicted that.
    PfP, exactly. It doesn’t matter how many tattoos he’s gotten without any complications before: it’s still a potentially risky thing, done to his pitching arm, completely voluntarily, DURING THE SEASON. At least in the offseason it has time to heal if it needs extra time. This is just… ugh.

  9. librarymonkey27

    so nice to have Curtis hitting again
    not so nice have other batters hitting
    that trade is worse than the one we did to get Edgar Renteria

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