Tigers win like yesterday, only more so.


Matt Joyce, photo by Samara Pearlstein

Mmm, victory. Sweet, tasty victory.

The Tigers have been taking an odd approach to Ranger pitching: nap through the first half of the game, then wake up and realize they’re facing Ranger pitching in the second half. I don’t know what’s wrong with staying awake for the whole 9 innings, but I guess it’s late in the season and everyone’s basically just a bunch of oversized tired kittens out there.

Arrrrmando fulfilled everyone’s dreams by getting the win against his former, now deeply chagrined organization. Although he gave up three runs, it was really the result of only one bad jam and a wanker of a hanging slider to Chris Davis, who smashed it out of the park. Arrrrrmado did not pitch like a jerk with something to prove, which was basically the key to the game; if he had been too fired up, the damage probably would have been much worse.

The best part of the game, of course, was that wondrous 7th inning, where the Tigers scored NINE runs on six hits, three walks, and a very silly-looking error. That included back-to-back home runs (a three-run blast from Matt Joyce, and an unlikely single-shot from Edgah) off of Vicente Padilla. Four Tigers batted twice in the inning.

The error, which caused a great many lulz in the RotT household, came during Joyce’s second at-bat of the inning. He hit a big fly ball to left center. Brandon Boggs and Josh Hamilton converged on it, and it looked like an easy out to everyone in the ballpark, including Joyce, who slowed on his way to first and (FSN’s cameras focused in for this) made a very distinct ‘awww, shucks’ face. There were two outs at the time and the bases were loaded, so it seemed like it was just another routine mass-stranding on the part of a Tigers batter.

BUT WAIT! The ball, inexplicably, dropped between Boggs and Hamilton. Joyce sped up and made it around to second, while everyone who had been on the bases came home. Both Boggs and Hamilton were RIGHT there. They didn’t collide or anything. They just both stopped running, both looked up at the sky, and PLINK! the ball landed between them. I assume there was some sort of mix-up with the calling. Doesn’t matter, as it was completely hilarious, and pretty much hammered the last nail into the coffin of this game.

On Wednesday Nate goes up against Kevin Millwood. Millwood’s middle name is Austin, continuing the grand tradition of baseball players with Texas names. It’s starting to get a little creepy, to be honest. Next thing you know someone will tell me that there’s a Saltalamacchia county somewhere in the state. And then the world will collapse into a rip in the fabric of spacetime, and all that we know shall come to an end. Go Tigers!

3 responses to “Tigers win like yesterday, only more so.

  1. Oh how I wish there were a Saltalamacchia county somewhere in the United States.
    Oh, and if I were given the “traditional” three wishes I would wish Eulogio de la Cruz were still a Tiger because his name is so great.
    Then I’d probably ask for vomitball to never be played by the Tigers ever again.
    Ending human ills and whatnot are too common. It’s time to focus!
    Aw crap. I should have asked for gas money.

  2. Way to go, Matt!! KITTEN POWER!! Pretty soon, he’ll be promoted to Tiger cub!

  3. David, screw gas money, I wanna be able to teleport.
    Lisa, the Kitten Power is indeed strong with this one.

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