death by walks


photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein

What is this? Armando can pitch against everyone EXCEPT for the Twins? I would blame the Gopher Dome but half of his Twins-related losses this season have been in Detroit.

The walks were what killed him today. Well, OK, Justin Morneau’s grand slam also killed him, but he only got that grand slam because Armando was walking guys all over the stupid turfy place. The run they scored in the first inning was also mostly the result of walks. Six walks in six innings… blech. That’s also very unlike Armando’s usual style. Maybe he’s allergic to pixie vests?

Liriano pitched a great game, so I got half the wonderful pitching duel I was hoping for yesterday. Somehow this fails to please me.

The River Thames was the only bright spot in the game, and I do mean the ONLY one. Nobody else had an extra-base hit (only 3 other guys had hits, period!) and none of the pitchers did particularly well. The River, however, managed to hit two homers off of Liriano. His line is a marvelously absurd .238/.291/.534. Just a teeny tiny bit lopsided.

ETA: OK, I lied, I remember one other awesome thing. Apparently Curtis Granderson was wearing a suit on the plane to Minnesota that had Rod and Mario beside themselves. It was (we are told) powder blue, with white pinstripes, and “bright white shoes.” Mario was making cracks about wearing white after Labor Day, and then we got this amazing/typical exchange –

[amidst bouts of semi-hysterical laughter at the memory of this outfit]
Mario: “You were all over him!”
Rod: “I wasn’t the only one!”

Rod and Mario are the gift that never stops giving. But WHY ARE THERE NO PHOTOS OF GRANDERSON IN THIS SUIT? How can you fail me at this vital moment, Internet?

The Race to .500!

Wow, give this team ONE goal, they do everything they can to avoid even that. Sad. With this loss we still need 14 wins to reach the promised land, and we’ve got only 7 losses left to spare. How pathetic would it be for this team – which was supposed to be the best and most expensive and shiniest and sparkliest powerhouse of them all before the season began – to finish the year under .500? REALLY PATHETIC.

Fourteen wins, kittens. Get cracking.

Saturday’s game is at 3:55 pm EDT. Gopher Dome. Verlander vs. (Timothy) Scott Baker. Verlander is coming off his Worst Outing Ever, so he’ll be pitching like he’s got something to prove. Whether this is a good thing or not remains to be seen. Go Tigers!

7 responses to “death by walks

  1. Oh, I like the walking baseballs. I want to keep them as pets.

  2. Aww, widdle walking baseballs. Somehow, even without faces, they seem infused with personality. Even pet-able!
    Wait, was there a game or something? I’m pretending not.

  3. Armando just did not have it last night. He was behind the count too often. He got away with it in the first inning, but he was not going to get away with it if he did it again. The Twins are a good hitting team at home so there was no way that he was going to get away with it again.

  4. Ahah, I love their little legs.
    And I am damn sad there are no pictures of Granderson in this suit.

  5. Fernando nearly killed me today.

  6. How bad can the big cats play before we can bring the monster back alive

  7. FrogMan, I wish I could have them as pets…
    k, it’s their wee little posed legs!
    Leslie, ‘just didn’t have it’ is right. Wasn’t his usual self out there.
    ivan, I consider the lack of photos of Granderson’s suit to be some sort of crime against humanity. For shame, photogs. For SHAME.
    David, me too. Eeeeurk.
    LM, let’s not find out how bad they can play…

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