photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein
There were exactly TWO Tigers extra-base hits in this game, and they were both doubles, and neither came around to score. Ever. The Tigers only managed to get four hits overall in the entire game.
We made Zac(h/k) Greinke look like a golden god.
Freddy Garcia gave up five runs in five innings, including three home runs.
This game was so pathetic that it was over, start to finish, in two hours and seventeen minutes.
We are right now technically in last place in the AL Central. There are only two teams in the AL with worse percentages than us: the Orioles, and the hapless Mariners.
That is not someone’s idea of a sick joke. The Detroit Tigers are
IN LAST PLACE IN THE CENTRAL
BELOW THE ROYALS
IN LAST PLACE
AT THE BOTTOM OF THE DIVISION.
On the one hand, this is clearly awful. On the other hand, though, I am almost amazed by it. I am nearly in awe. The idea that a team with the talent that the Tigers have (had?), a team with the expectations the Tigers had, is worse than the Kansas City Royals…. it is both compelling and repellent in that classic flaming train wreck kinda way.
Wednesday, 7:05 pm EDT, Nate Robertson vs. Brian Bannister vs. The Void. Go Tigers!