tiger-striped Thanksgiving, 2008

photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein

Things for which we can be thankful:

— We’re not fans of the Mariners.

— Arrrrrrmando’s unexpected season. What does the future hold in store for Mr. Galarraga? None can say (no, not even you, PECOTA). But we will always have ’08, and that 3.73 ERA, 1.192 WHIP, and 13-7 record will be on the stat websites for all internet eternity.

— Comerica is a heckuva place to watch a ballgame.

— None of OUR players are secretly dating Madonna.

— The fact that “April in the D” really did only last one month, and did not go on to spawn such potential horrors as “Maypril in the D” or “Septembpril in the D”.

— Best lookin’ home unis in the majors.

— Brandon Inge’s ass.

— The most intimidatin’, chain-smokin’, spike-wearin’, mustache-bearin’, horses**t-and-weak-s**t-hatin’ manager in the league.

— The difference between 2003 and 2006, and the hope that difference can bring us.

— The perfect storm of awesome that is Curtis Granderson.

— Someone will play shortstop next season, and it will not be Edgar Renteria.

— What I reckon may well be the best story to come out of the MLB this past season: Matt Joyce rescuing a kitten in the clubhouse.

— Gary Sheffield’s crazy threats of dire revenge. See here, here, and most especially here.

— Photoshop.

— All of you kids and kittens, the commenters (and even the silent readin’ lurkers) who share in the despair, absurdity, and joy of Tigers baseball here at RotT.

— Yet another year of turkeycats!

Have a happy Thanksgiving, kids and kittens! May it be filled with not-overly-dramatic friends and family, good things to be thankful for, and many delicious NOMS. If you end up at the Lions game and you see someone wandering around in a white t-shirt with a crying Lions logo on it, carrying a big camera, feel free to come say hi!

12 responses to “tiger-striped Thanksgiving, 2008

  1. Well, if I wanted to make sure I didn’t eat too much turkey on Thanksgiving, that picture ought to take care of it.
    I just hope I don’t start looking at Polanco like Newman started looking at Kramer when he started tanning with butter.

  2. Samara Pearlstein

    Hey, reminding everyone that Placido’s head fits perfectly on the front of a cooked butterball turkey is tradition ’round these parts!

  3. Oh no. Not the Polanco turkey…That’s one freaky-ass looking bird.

  4. HI-larious. Placido looks delicious, and appears remarkably sanguine even after 6 hours at 350 degrees.
    I’m envisioning the Crying Lion turkey, myself.

  5. Ah! Them Turkeycat pictures are scary!

  6. If anything, Placido Polanco on a turkey reminds me to be thankful for Dave Dombrowski. Yup, he engineered some real clunkers leading up to the 2008 debacle, but let’s be honest… Compared to Randy Smith (or, heaven forbid, Matt Millen), we have A LOT to be thankful for.

  7. Oh the Polanco Bird. I’m pretty sure his head alone couldn’t fit in an oven.
    Jeff brings up a great point. We should be thankful for having DD. He has made some great deals. He turned a jailed reliever into an all-star. He recieved an all-star for a backup shortstop, and got that same backup back in his squad. And most importantly, he put together the squad that won the AL in ’06. For once, I’ll stop complaining and respect that.

  8. Samara Pearlstein

    Bow down before the meaty might of Placido Polanco’s cranium, folks.
    Jeff and Joe: for sure, I think Dombrowski has been a huge plus for this team. He’s made some bad moves and some questionable signings (Edgar???!) but EVERY GM does that, even the best of the best. Such is the nature of the game. Looking at other GMs around the league, we could be so much worse off…

  9. Quoting from Wikipedia:
    William Gass argues that moral theories such as consequentialism are unable to adequately explain why a morally wrong action is morally wrong. Gass uses the example of an “obliging stranger” who agrees to be baked in an oven. Gass claims that the rationale that any moral theory might attempt to give for this wrongness, e.g. it does not bring about good results, is simply absurd. According to Gass, it is wrong to bake a stranger, however obliging, and nothing more can or need be said about it.
    It may have been wrong to bake Placido Polanco.

  10. Samara Pearlstein

    Oh I don’t think I agree with Mr. Gass! That sort of philosophy seems to be at odds with a human species that is home to a definite range of morality, especially with regards to consent, for example, some of the fringier S&M practices, no matter how consensual, would be considered morally wrong by some and with the caveat of consent are perfectly fine to others. Under such circumstances you might run into someone who is REALLY INTO being baked in an oven– surely a concept not so very far off from the people who are into extensive branding, or suspension, or voluntary amputation (and there are such people). When the issue of informed consent comes into play, I don’t think you CAN state that baking an obliging stranger is necessarily ‘wrong’, at least not in a clear-cut way.
    THUS
    (and taking as a working assumption the fact that Placido Polanco is the most obliging of fellows– this is arguable, but is also an entirely separate argument; we may assume it for the purposes of this blog, where we have a whole tag for ‘imaginary baseball world’, where the players are exactly what we imagine them to be)
    it was MOST CORRECT to bake Placido Polanco.
    ESPECIALLY since he looks delicious. That is a separate moral concern, but, I think, no less important in the final estimation.
    :)

  11. Yeah, I’m more of a consequentialist myself. I can’t deny that Placido looks more than willing, although I can’t rule out the possibility that you might have drugged him first. He looks a bit sleepy, but maybe that’s just the tryptophan. He might have nibbled on himself in the oven (MMMM… I’m so golden brown!)
    Assuming that there was informed consent and that Placido can still play 2B, and that his trade value has not been compromised by overcooking to dryness (the Giants could be looking at a Club Sandwich middle infield in 2010!), I will allow that baking him did make the world a better place.
    Voluntary amputation?!? Gak! Talk about a pastime with diminishing returns. All of a sudden I feel normal.

  12. Samara Pearlstein

    I can assure you and the reading public that all turkeys here at Roar of the Tigers are 99.97% PED/steroid-free. Let’s get that on the record right now. Organic and free ranging over the fine Comerica grass all the way!
    Voluntary amputation, yup. It’s not by any means a big group of people, of course, but they’re out there and can be found with a little judicious googling and maybe some perusal of BMEzine. I figure, on that spectrum of elective body modification, Polanco turkeycats are really quite tame, and again, much more delicious than your run-of-the-mill mods.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s