photo by Samara Pearlstein
Aw yeah it’s that time again, time to grade the team RotT-style. Verlander had a good game on Sunday, Clete and Inge went crazy with their bats, this should put you in the mood for the gloriousness that is to follow.
Reason: deceased (zombie)
Reason: small sample size
Reason: OK so he also has a small sample size, bite me, I am grading him up based on his most recent start.
Reason: Struggly struggles. There have been times where he looked like he was bouncing back to form, but there have also been plenty of times where he looked like he wouldn’t survive to see the light of another day with his own two eyeballs.
Reason: 1.06 WHIP, ’nuff said. Actually that’s not enough said. EDWIN JACKSON HAS HAD AN AMAZING FIRST HALF OF THROWING THE BASEBALL. How’s that for enough?
Reason: I give him this grade mostly because of his cat-name, which, yea, has been as a boon unto us bloggers, and because I kind of want to pet his hair.
Reason: He has not been that good. We didn’t really expect him to be that good, though.
Reason: Smaaaallll saaaammmplllle siiiiiiiize. But he says Ni!
Reason: Toledo will do that to you.
Reason: Probably a little generous, but he has managed to amass 8 wins before he is even old enough to legally purchase a handgun or down a fifth of vodka. Respect, yo.
Reason: deceased (evil malformed stunted twin growing in elbow)
Reason: I can’t actually fail Fernando, he still has not yet blown a save. But I think we all know what the stress of watching him pitch has done to my already-fragile little mind, OK, that is plenty of reason to dock him several gradepoints.
Reason: He has been quietly going about his business, doing pretty damn well without making much of a fuss, or having much of a fuss made over him. He’s pitching significantly better against lefties, as he ought to do. He’s got a WHIP of 1.00 and an ERA of 2.89. I am surprised and gratified.
Reason: He has more wins than Edwin Jackson, but mostly because he gets more support. He doesn’t get to strike that minus from his score until he stops being so bloody stinkin’ inefficient. I am picking nits, but this is a peeve of mine, I take it personally.
Reason: deceased (zombie)
Reason: Maybe if he would stop being so catdamned in love with his own velocity and started being just a little bit in love with mixing pitches and learning control, you know, maybe that would get him out of the Cs.
Grading continues under the ‘read more’ link!
Reason: Not for his bat, that’s for sure. But I was SO CONCERNED about the catching situation this offseason, and Laird has really come through for us. He has been steady and stable and defensively adequate-to-good. He has not at any point in time buggered off to Columbia for no particular reason and missed a game, unlike CERTAIN OTHER CATCHERS. And his nickname is G-Money. I mean, come on now.
Reason: You know, I go whole weeks without remembering that Dusty Ryan is even on the team.
Reason: Streaky McStreakerson. His overall numbers are still pretty damn good, but that’s in part because he’s been able to hide long-ish slumps in the insanely unrealistic stats he put up early in the season.
Reason: Eh. I am less forgiving of spectacularly bad hitting outside of catchers, but nobody at any point believed that Everett would be contributing with his bat. We mostly just wanted him to be Not Edgar Renteria, and he’s done that.
Reason: The only, ONLY reason he doesn’t get an A+ is because of the error total.
Reason: He has been hitting better lately, he’s still doin’ his thing at second, his cranium is still shaped by fascinating but mysterious forces beyond our realm of understanding.
Reason: Ramon Santiago is what a backup infielder should be, and that is not to be trifled with.
Reason: Not the greatest at the plate, not the greatest on the basepaths, despite speed that should make him better there. I suppose he is lacking in instincts.
Reason: Curtis Granderson is perfect, do you really need a reason? It is simply Fact.
Reason: deceased (bodily decomposition)
Reason: Power slump, haircut.
Reason: Not too shabby. He’s versatile and has performed versatilely when asked. Maybe that shouldn’t be noteworthy, but this is MLB, land of spoiled oversize manchildren.
Reason: He’s Raburn-ish but not as useful.
WHATEVER THE HELL MARCUS THAMES IS
The River Thames
Reason: Still with the power, and 9 homers for a guy who plays only infrequently ain’t bad at all.
Reason: Because of this.
The average of last year’s grades was a C+/B-. The average of this year’s grades is a solid B-. This is a good thing! It means that my level of ire with the team as a whole tends to normalize regardless of how relatively good or bad the team is; it doesn’t (much) matter that the Tigers were so much worse in 2008 than they are right now in 2009, because my levels of annoyance are relative to each year specifically, not one season compared to another.
Anyways. Monday night is the Home Run Derby! Nuts to Pujols and Howard, I say– Brandon Inge will be participating! Your rooting path is clear, folks.