thank cats for Clete

illustration by Samara Pearlstein

–Lazy day, reusin’ the cartoon. Nobody can complain because Clete Thomas walked us off victoriously. It wasn’t as majestic as a walkoff homer to dead center, which is how he walked us off last time, but who cares? It never gets old. I never get tired of watching the team mob him at home plate, whaling on his helmet and rending his garments.

I mean, did you see Polanco picking Clete’s stupid titanium necklace up off the grass after the celebration today? They literally ripped it right off of him. Next time, Tigers, just rip his shirt off. Or even his pants. Whichever is easier. You know. For the good of the team.

–This was a huge game. Holy cats. The Tigers have been so abysmal on the road and they’ve got a road trip coming up, so coming out of this series with more wins than losses was a Big Deal.

–I am beginning to feel that Jarrod Washburn was false advertising.

–Relatedly: the Russell Branyan home run off of Washburn today is said to have traveled 425 feet, even though my bare eyeballs are pretty well convinced that it traveled 600 feet and also killed an endangered eagle before it landed.

–Zach Miner has a brand new baby boy! (Tip o’the paw to Mr. Beck.) MiniMiner number two is named Jackson Miner. I’ll bet Edwin is pleased.

–Win number 4 for the left half of the SeayLyon.

–Brandon Inge was a hot piece of baseball manmeat in this one. He made two excellent plays in foul territory; his front half ended up in the crowd for one, and his entire tiny body went into the crowd for one. In both cases he caught and held onto the ball. He also hit a home run and a sac fly. All without The Mustache. I’m just sayin’.

–Alex Avila: man or myth? Alex Avila’s five o’clock shadow: intriguingly scruffy or simply sloppy?

–Fu-Te Ni bows to the field before he comes out, because he says that the field is a holy place for a baseball player and he wants to show it the proper respect. Fu-Te Ni, you are too glorious.

–Ryan Rowland-Smith is allegedly the first player in MLB to have a hyphenated last name. Really?

–Is there anything in the entire world more boring than Michigan Golf Live during a rain delay? I submit that there is not. Why not just show us Spotlight: Curtis Granderson again for the 5,000th time? Sure, I can probably quote whole sections of that thing from memory by now, but it still would have been a massive improvement.

–The Orioles claimed Chris Lambert off waivers. OK.

–Gary Sheffield is gettin’ surly with the Mets. WHO WOULD HAVE EVER GUESSED THAT SUCH A THING MIGHT OCCUR?

15 responses to “thank cats for Clete

  1. Comeback Clete!
    But, really, what was awesome about today’s game is that it seemed like *everybody* was contributing something. (Well, maybe not Washburn.) Imagine if the Tigers could harness this energy… If each member of the line-up pulled his own weight on a daily basis – instead of waiting around to see who the hero of *this* game is going to be, as they usually seem inclined to do. Why, the Tigers would be an unstoppable force…
    And, I can’t think of a more entertaining thing in baseball to watch then Brandon Inge diving head-first into the stands to catch a foul ball. Part of me wishes he had a little more sense of self-preservation, but I guess he hasn’t killed himself yet.

  2. Samara Pearlstein

    re: Inge, his knees would probably beg to differ… :(

  3. Well, actually, diving head-first would save the knees, wouldn’t it? They seemed to be spared from the worst of the impact today, at least ;)

  4. Hot baseball manmeat. I’m disturbed. Memorizing that phrase for later use tho!
    Alex Avila is fake. I made him up in my head. An extra base hitting catcher? No way get real.
    But just in case I shall name my firstborn Clete Avila Miguel. Or Miguel Avila Clete. Hm, the order needs work.

  5. During the entirety of the comeback, all I could think about was Aardsma’s boil and whether it was negatively affecting him. Whatever, the result was most pleasant, and that’s all that matters.
    Damn, but I like that Fu-Te Ni guy. Just keeps getting better and better.
    Tiff: I’d go with your first order and call him “Cam”. Everyone will think his name is Cameron. We will know better.

  6. Oh, and did you see what Leyland said about the Branyan home run?
    “The wind helped some,” Leyland said of the home runs. “It didn’t help that one Branyan hit. I don’t go on vacations that far.”

  7. Going to see the Tigers in Oakland for the next three nights, woohoo!!! I’m going to be keeping my eye on Ni to see him bow to the field. That’s tooooo awesome.

  8. Samara Pearlstein

    Heitk1le, I dunno, that second play, where he banged into the big ad box thing in front of the wall, didn’t look too good for his knees (or his obliques).
    Tiff, right? Even his name sounds fake. Alex Avila? Naaaahhh, you can’t expect me to believe that. You make that name up in a novel.
    And I think Miguel is a nicer first name than Clete. ;)
    Jeff, ha ha ha, I was thinking about Aardsma’s, erm, issues as well. It MIGHT have had an effect, their manager had said something like “he’s not day-to-day, he’s minute-to-minute”. And Jim Leyland says it best, as usual.
    Colt, apparently he does it when he comes up the dugout steps, or I guess maybe when he’s coming out the bullpen door. And have fun! Take photos! :D

  9. You’re right. I was thinking more of the first catch, where his knees didn’t seem to make contact with anything until he was on the way down… but, yeah, he’s basically crazy, with no sense of self-preservation, and we love it.

  10. Hey! Got home from work just in time to see the bottom of the 9th. Great Tigers’ win. Clete did his bat well with some foul balls. Then hit that inside pitch for a base hit. Yup Sure U Bet Ya! Washburn? I think he will become a Tiger! And about Inge? I know everyone calls Al Kaline Mr. Tiger. I agree, I am from that time. But for now; Brandon Inge,is MR. Tiger!

  11. Sheffield being all grumpy? That never happens!
    Avila is scaring me because I keep waiting for the other catcher’s mask to drop.
    I love this Tigers team so much!

  12. Fu-te Ni! We want more of you! We are the Fans who say Ni!
    …is Clete’s actual Christian name, uh, “Cletus?” I have this nagging fear that it might be.
    Rod kept saying he didn’t think he’d seen a ball hit out to where Branyan hit his–but I seem to recall one other. Also by Branyan, not-so-weirdly. Five, six years ago? When he was with Cleveland? It got a similar kind of shocked response. Anybody remember this?

  13. Samara Pearlstein

    Walleyeman, I dunno, Washburn’s had a few starts now to turn it around… we shall see. He doesn’t exactly have a whole lot of time left to become a proper Tiger.
    David, oh, I think Avila is almost certainly benefiting from the fact that the league isn’t used to him yet. That rookie boost, you know. His bat is supposed to be good but I don’t think it’s going to stay THIS good in the majors.
    Matt, Clete’s name is actually Michael. He’s like Inge, he goes by his middle name.

  14. im glad that someone besides myself knows Clete’s real name, and Brandon’s for that matter. i read the case of the missing bats and couldnt stop laughing. :)
    you are really good at writing this blog. one question: do you, or do you not like Rick Porcello? i kinda got some mixed signals there.
    im deffintely a new fan now. :D

  15. Samara Pearlstein

    Oh, I like Porcello, no doubt. But I enjoy teasing/tormenting all Tigers, even the ones I like, in the service of more ridiculous blogging. It’s only fair, you know. ;)

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