so it begins: Kid Porcello breaks the 100 pitch mark

illustration by Samara Pearlstein

Tonight for the very first time Rick Porcello threw 100+ pitches in a big league start. Now he has tasted the cloying sweetness of the 100+ pitch fruit, he will do whatever he can to taste it again, he will get to 98 pitches in an outing and he’ll be telling Jim Leyland that he’s totally fine, what’s a few more pitches between a dude and his infant arm, right, right? And we all know how Jim Leyland loves to let his pitchers do that, he is a 100+ PITCH ENABLER.

Verlander and Jackson are 100+ pitch pushers, they want everyone to know the honeyed pain of a bicep that has known a million pitches, they will support Porcello in his desires even though he’s just a child, he does not know any better, he sees his elders throwing 100+ pitches every time out. They are his role models, he wants to be like them so that he can feel cool and maybe one day they will even let him sit with them at the lunch table or on the team plane he can sit in the back where only the cool kids sit.

Maybe Verlander sneaks him a sip of beer to reward him for throwing 100+ pitches and then he’s hooked, there is no getting him back to a mental place where he is content with pitching limits meant to preserve his fragile little body which is probably not even done with puberty yet because holy cats have you seen this kid, don’t let his height fool you, he has the face of an eighth grader. He is impressionable and it only takes one time to get addicted to throwing 100+ pitches per outing, once a kid gets started he’s not going to want to stop, especially not when his entire support system is kind of OK with him doing it anyways because they have misguided notions about what it means to be a man in Major League Baseball and what a child is capable of doing without ruining himself for future season.


7 responses to “so it begins: Kid Porcello breaks the 100 pitch mark

  1. Rick can stop any time he wants. Justin, Jim and Edwin are just helping him understand the 100 mark.

  2. Samara Pearlstein

    That’s what they all say, David. THAT’S WHAT THEY ALL SAY.

  3. I felt so bad when he gave up that run at the very end there. I wanted him to have a shutout so badly, I think Jim did too.
    but yes, I hope this 100+ thing does not become a habit.

  4. Jim Leyland =/= Dusty Baker (whom I will NEVER, NEVER, NEVER FORGIVE FOR WHAT HE DID TO MARK PRIOR – did you SEE the incredible grace of that pitching motion?!? And idiot Dusty DESTROYED him!!! AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!), so this does not worry me as much as it would have earlier in the year.
    Clearly Porcello has been working up to this point – I’ll be a lot happier if his next start he stops a bit short of 100 (depending on the situation), though.

  5. To quote Tom Lehrer’s “The Old Dope Peddler”:
    He gives the kids free samples
    Because he knows full well
    That today’s young innocent faces
    Will be tomorrow’s clientele
    Your comment about “face of an 8th grader” brought it to mind.

  6. Samara Pearlstein

    Alli, yeah, Leyland does that a lot– he WANTS something for his pitcher, so he leaves him in sometimes too long in the pursuit of that ‘goal’. Not that I think that was really an issue here, but it’s definitely one of his Repeated Behaviors.
    Baroque, well, yes, on the grand spectrum of Managers Who Ruin Arms, Leyland hardly rates compared to Dusty Baker. :P But it still makes me nervous in a vacuum…
    Jeff, that is basically where I was going with this, so yeah, well done. ;)

  7. He has that poker face demeanor everytime he pitches. But, he looks like a teenager when he cracks a smile. Need to see more pictures and candid interviews of this talented and handsome baseball phenomenon. Tigers should promote him like how the other teams promote their superstar and hunky players to the press. He’ll get more media mileage as he’s a combination of talent, brawn and looks.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s