it's official, Fernando Rodney is trying to kill us

I did not see this game because I was out setting fire to things on the beach. Judging from the box score, it seems that Fernando was, against all the constraints of logic and distance, trying his hardest to join me.

As near as I can make out, Verlander was awesome for eight innings. One run on four hits, one walk, seven Ks. A typical 126 pitches to pad his absurdly high season total. And it looks like Jeff Niemann matched him pretty well. Going into the 9th inning the game was tied at one. I’d imagine it was a great relief to watch JP Howell fall apart and allow three runs in the top of the ninth. I’ll bet fans were settling back contentedly, maybe turning their thoughts to college football.

Then: FERNANDO.

With the Tigers up 4-1 and Verlander freshly departed, Fernando allowed:

–a walk

–an advance of indifference

–another walk

–an RBI single

–an RBI double

There were two outs after the single, so for the final out of the game, the tying run was at third freaking base. The potential winning run was at second. I think it is fair to say that if I had been watching this, I would have been shrieking at the TV, or possibly curled up all agonized-fetus-style on the floor.

Why, Fernando? Verlander pitched well. The offense eventually came through and did well. You, Fernando, got the save in the end, which counts as ‘doing well’. WHY MAKE IT SO STRESSFUL AND DIFFICULT?

You know who I’ll bet did not enjoy this? Justin Verlander. Poor dude throws a squintillion beautiful pitches and has to sit in the dugout and watch Fernando do whatever it is that he was doing out there to the remainder of Verlander’s pretty, pretty game. It must have driven Verlander crazy. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that he had been vomiting into the bubblegum buckets or something.

Fernando Rodney is not another Rollercoaster Jones. A rollercoaster has its ups and downs, its rational little cycles of good and bad, imposed on it by human will. Fernando Rodney is a force of nature. He’s Hurricane Rodney. Tropical Storm Rodney at the very, very least.

9 responses to “it's official, Fernando Rodney is trying to kill us

  1. of note:
    G$ threw out two potential base stealers. per usual, it was awesome as hell.
    gum time made an appearance in the 9th – even JV laughed!!!!- and we promptly scored 3 runs. GUM TIME.

  2. ZOMG GUM TIME!!!1 Unbelievable! I was at work; didn’t see it! This is extraordinary, slightly digusting news! One more side benefit of the Return of Nate Robertson…

  3. I was at the game last night in St. Pete and Rodney seriously is going to make me have a nervous breakdown! He looks so unsure of himself, he always has. He really was having trouble throwing strikes, so when he threw his get me over fastball it got hit hard somewhere. Ben Zobrist absolutely blasted the ball that went foul on what would have been a homerun before he eventually struck out. I just cant stomach thinking of him trying to shut a team down in the playoffs with a one run lead.

  4. Perhaps the most painful ninth inning this season, and yet Fernando preserved the lead…barely.

  5. Blame Grandpa for the cramping anxiety filled 9th inning last night…Was very obvious that Rodney had a tired arm (pitching 3 days in a row) and couldn’t throw a strike (being wilder than usual is one obvious sign of a tired arm)…after 2 walks (when basically giving up a home run was no worse than a walk) Grampa Leyland should have realized it wasn’t Rodney’s night, and pulled the plug on him…poor, poor managing, luckey to get the W…

  6. I think it is fair to say that if I had been watching this, I would have been shrieking at the TV, or possibly curled up all agonized-fetus-style on the floor.

    Yeah, I basically was.
    I had put in some gum at the top of the inning, but spit it out after Fernando’s second walk. I know it helped the Tigs. I didn’t know Gum Time worked for Rays as well.

  7. And we just thought Fernando was a danger to our fragile psyches! No, it turns he out he could actually hurt us! Frustrate him and he’ll hurl a baseball at you from a great distance. Not cool, man.

  8. Fernando is just challenging himself. How does anyone expect him to be able to get out of a bases-loaded, no-outs jam in the ninth to preserve a one-run lead if he doesn’t practice it?
    And if he doesn’t come into such a situation, he’ll just CREATE IT HIMSELF. He is not only the king of drama, but has a can-do attitude as well. :)

  9. This guy makes me nervous. I just can’t see him successfully protecting a slim 9th inning lead in the playoffs against one of those good teams like New York, Los Angeles or Boston.

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