a Royal mess

digillustration by Samara Pearlstein

I can’t even begin to process this game, or indeed the Tigers’ recent history with the Royals. What in the name of Paws is going on here? The Royals, cats, the Royals. Seriously?

–So I didn’t see the start of this game because I was at work; Washburn was removed because of the knee, right? It’s something to do with his ACL, but… is it a strain, or is it swollen, or partially torn, or twisted up like a Twizzler, or what? I guess it doesn’t really matter, because two things have become abundantly clear:

a) he can’t pitch on the knee when it’s like this, and

b) Seattle has magical knee-pain-suppressing air wafting in off of Puget Sound. Detroit only has whatever wafts in off of the Detroit River, which obviously ain’t cuttin’ it.

We’ve got to consider him out of the rotation at this point. Leyland is not going to start Miner, because he is weirdly in love with the concept of Miner-in-the-bullpen. Everyone really, really wants to avoid giving Bondo any starts. This leaves us with Arrrrrrmando Galarraga (tender achin’ elbow) and Nate Robertson (strained groinal bits). I suppose it will come down to who feels the least amount of pain come Sunday, which is when Washburn is supposed to pitch next.

If both Nate and Arrrrmando are still in relatively significant amounts of pain by then, I’m not sure what the Tigers do. Maybe Inge will feel up to pitching.

–Potential defining image of the game? Casey Fien standing on the mound, surrounded by embarrassed infielders, while Jim Leyland puts his hands on both of Fien’s shoulders as if he’s a Little Leaguer who is about to burst into tears on the mound. Poor Casey, he looked like he could have used a hug out there, or some other sort of assurance that it would all be OK, even though that would have been a cheap, dirty lie.

–I seriously don’t know what to make of this. The Royals are hitting the Tigers around like they’re aiming for the playoffs, and the Tigers apparently cannot make any sense at all of the Royals’ pitching. Sure, Washburn was hurt, but he only accounted for four runs yesterday; the Royals put up ELEVEN before all was said and done. The Tigers put up ONE. What is this?

–Fernando Rodney appealed his suspension and got it knocked down to two games, which he served on Monday and Tuesday. He should be available again for Wednesday. Whether or not you think that’s a good thing depends on what you think of Fernando Rodney.

6 responses to “a Royal mess

  1. i can’t even read past the picture cause my eyes are bleeding… that is what most of the royals look like when the moon is full, I think.~

  2. Ha ha ha CHRIST SAM, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? You’ve unleashed THE HORROR OF KANSAS CITY

  3. I do NOT understand the Miner in the bullpen thing. I mean, yes, it’s nice to be able to go to a guy like that when you’re starting pitcher’s knee implodes in the first inning…
    But why only leave him in for two innings! He sent down six in a row and PAPA LEYLAND TOOK HIM OUT!
    Why???

  4. I’m not positive, but I thought Washburn’s problem was tears in his meniscus? Probably splitting hairs at this point but w/e. :P

  5. That picture will haunt my dreams. You need to save it for a Halloween special.

  6. Samara Pearlstein

    Tiff, why wait for the full moon? I expect they look like that as soon as they take their masks off after every game.
    FrogMan, ha ha, I did not unleash it, I only shed light upon it!
    Heitk1le, I dunno. He’s seriously in looooove with Miner-as-reliever and he has a surly hate-on for Miner-as-starter. I can’t pretend that everything Leyland does always makes perfect sense to me.
    ivan, here he says he thinks it might be his old ACL injury coming back in some form, but who knows.
    Murrajo, I strive to disturb!

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