a thing by Samara Pearlstein
Matt Treanor signed a minor league deal with the Brewers.
Brent Clevlen signed a little-cat deal with the Braves.
And poor Freddy Dolsi was claimed off of waivers by the filthy, filthy Wrong Sox.
TRAGEDY! Calamity! Senseless trimming of the roster! What a waste of player resources, what a mind-boggling series of bad moves, one really had to wonder what in the hell Dave Dombrowski is thinking, letting these guys slip through the cracks. Doesn’t he care about WINNING?? Doesn’t he care about THE TIGERS?!?!?!
Matt Treanor, with his awesome wife! Brent Clevlen, with his midwestern name! Dusty Ryan, with his dustiness! Freddy Dolsi, with his 1.69 ERA! O the horror, the terror, the madness, most especially the madness!! How can we live in a world where this is allowed to happen? How can we continue to make sense of this team, this front office, our own senses of self???
ALL IS LOST! ALL IS DARKNESS! Rebuilding year! REEEE BUILDIIIIIIIINNNGGGG YEEEEAAAARRRR!
Ha ha, just kidding, of course! Nobody cares.