little Tigers leaving on little tiger paws


a thing by Samara Pearlstein

Matt Treanor signed a minor league deal with the Brewers.

Brent Clevlen signed a little-cat deal with the Braves.

Dusty Ryan was DFA’d. ETA: He was signed by the Padres.

And poor Freddy Dolsi was claimed off of waivers by the filthy, filthy Wrong Sox.

TRAGEDY! Calamity! Senseless trimming of the roster! What a waste of player resources, what a mind-boggling series of bad moves, one really had to wonder what in the hell Dave Dombrowski is thinking, letting these guys slip through the cracks. Doesn’t he care about WINNING?? Doesn’t he care about THE TIGERS?!?!?!

Matt Treanor, with his awesome wife! Brent Clevlen, with his midwestern name! Dusty Ryan, with his dustiness! Freddy Dolsi, with his 1.69 ERA! O the horror, the terror, the madness, most especially the madness!! How can we live in a world where this is allowed to happen? How can we continue to make sense of this team, this front office, our own senses of self???

ALL IS LOST! ALL IS DARKNESS! Rebuilding year! REEEE BUILDIIIIIIIINNNGGGG YEEEEAAAARRRR!

Ha ha, just kidding, of course! Nobody cares.

8 responses to “little Tigers leaving on little tiger paws

  1. Those players just saved themselves from the misery of what appears to be the 2010 season for the Tigs. I’m in dire need of some good news Sam!

  2. I think that the division will be just mediocre enough to be vulnerable if we get out to a hot start. How much leeway do you think they will have with the Bonderman/Robertson/Willis troika taking up roster spots before they start just cutting people?

  3. David O. (13194013)

    I miss Matt Treanor’s wife.

  4. I miss Jose Lima’s wife. ;)

  5. Clearly they had to go. I mean, look at them – they have no arms! You can’t play baseball missing both arms. The photo – thing – evidence is indisputable. :)

  6. Sounds like Dusty is off to San Diego…I hope he has better luck in his home state.

  7. I heard about Dusty, but I hadn’t heard about Brent Clevlen, though. Shock! Shock!!

  8. h20polopunk, I’ve been looking for good news… looking and looking and looking… I think I’m going to have to draw some invented good news shortly if nothing comes up. :/

    Juskimo, I really REALLY want to say that they will not allow Bondo/Nate/Dontrelle much leeway at all. I think that will be true for Dontrelle– I don’t think they can just cut him, but I don’t think they’ll let him take up roster space either, they’ll send him down and he’ll probably go along with it.

    Nate will probably get more time than we’d like. They’ll try him in the bullpen if it gets bad, even though I don’t think that’s a good idea. Bondo… I just hope he’s back, I really do. :/

    David O, h20, Misty May will ALWAYS be more famous/interesting than poor Matt. And ha ha, oh, Mrs. Lima, she was a rare one indeed.

    Baroque, who needs arms when you have giant stripey tails??

    gilbekat, he’ll probably be in the minors… unless things are even worse in SD than I’d previously believed…

    Lauren, ha ha, RIGHT?!!?? Our biggest impact player, GONE!! Gasp!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s