Happy Holidays to us?


photo by Samara Pearlstein

Could it really be? The greatest holiday present of all… Fernando Rodney signing with a team that is not the Tigers. Please let it be so.

The Phillies have shown some interest in Fernando, but talks are not serious. Fear not, Tigers, for all is not lost: the Rally Monkey Angels are in “serious discussions” with Fernando. So saith ESPN.

Of course the Rally Monkeys no longer have the soothing goggles of K-Rod to gaze into, and Brian Fuentes managed to “shake the confidence” of those in charge this season. I wish both sides all the luck in the world on this deal, but I will warn the Rally Monkeys right now that if they do not enjoy closers who grab hold of that confidence and shake the hell out of it, they may not enjoy Fernando. Maybe.

Not that they should let that stop them! This is nothing to do with the fact that every other team that seriously considers Fernando is one more roadblock in the admittedly somewhat unlikely path that leads to Fernando re-signing in Detroit and we want as many of those roadblocks as possible. Don’t be foolish! We just want what’s best for Fernando, and for other teams in the league. Our thoughts are purely altruistic. Always.

Have the Rally Monkeys heard of this totally fake and not at all real “ailment” known as “tendonitis”? No? Excellent.

In other news, the Freep thinks that with Dusty Ryan gone to languish contribute mightily in San Diego, Alex Avila and his Magical Facial Hair are sure to start the season on the big league roster, backing up G-Money.

why more Alex Avila might be a good thing:
–he might actually, really, truly be able to hit for some small amount of power, which would be a nice thing to have off the bench
–he bats lefty
–his youth makes him slightly less likely to physically break down than the usual old-as-hell backup catching type
–dat irrepressible beard
–he can learn from Laird directly, which is probably more valuable than learning from triple-A catchers/coaches
–it will make Assistant GM and proud papa Al Avila happy, which will help the front office to run more smoothly

why more Alex Avila might be a bad thing:
–he is a child, these are the Majors, he was brought straight up from double-A last season
–the league will soon enough have had time to adjust to him
–young impressionable catchers and potentially horrific pitching do not mix well
–dat irrepressible beard
–it will turn Assistant GM and proud papa Al Avila into a distracted, nervous wreck, which will make the front office run less smoothly

Just some Vital Facts to consider.

16 responses to “Happy Holidays to us?

  1. I kind of want the Tigers to resign Rodney. Who is out there, closer-wise, that the Tigers would be able to (be willing to might be more accurate) pay for? They lost out on JJ Putz, Mike Gonzalez, Brandon Morrow (who will probably be traded to Toronto IIRC), Brandon Lyon, etc. And I’m not ready to hand the closer’s role to Zumaya and/or Perry just yet.

    … IDK I think the holidays have driven me insane.

  2. When I say Brandon Morrow, I mean in a potential Granderson-to-Seattle deal, obvs.

  3. Ugh, I dunno. Let’s get Chad Durbin back and turn him into a closer.

  4. I think I’d take Chad Durbin at this point.

    Mike Gonzalez was my pipe dream. :/ Alas.

  5. In my youth in the West that is forgotten, I observed that the Angels played in a ballpark next door to Disneyland. So, you can totally understand why they might want to buy a roller coaster . . .

  6. On an unrelated note…I received a very cool card in the mail from an interesting town name that my favorite blogger lives in. It was so worth embarassing myself in public with ‘paper dolls’ and a camera!! Thanks, Samara!!

  7. I’m not really sweating the closer at this point, but I have to comment on that Alex Avila picture. Something about that hat with the sunglasses on it makes it look – in the periphery of my vision – like a beat cop’s hat.

    That and the irrepressible facial hair and the fab photo effects kind of made Avila look like a member of the Village People. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  8. Well now I just don’t know what to think about Alex Avila! You have given me reasons to be happy about the idea of him as a backup, but then more reasons to worry! Plus the beard! Plus his secret Village People tendencies! I just! Don’t! Know!

  9. Frog man–those things might make some of us worry, but for others of us, those are pluses. ;)

  10. It’s a done deal. So says ESPN.

    So… uh… what are we going to do for a closer next year?

  11. I have nightmares about it ending up Nate.

  12. And rea, fair enough, fair enough. ;)

  13. I recognize that Fernando was not exactly Mariano. But in his own inimitable fashion, he did get the job done last year, and we really have nobody to step in and take over.

  14. he did get the job done last year, and we really have nobody to step in and take over.</I

    About this time last year, we had nobody to step in and take over at closer, either. The idea of Rodney doing it was received with expressions of horror. :(

  15. I’m gonna miss him and his pointy pharaonic beard.

  16. David O. (13194013)

    Closers are a luxury. Rodney was a nightmare. Let’s use one of our many relievers!

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