that is not how you behave in public, Gerald

illustration by Samara Pearlstein

Gerald Laird, I am sorely disappointed. This is behavior that we would frown upon coming from one of the youthful kittens! But you, Gerald, are 30 years old! Old enough to know better! Old enough to know that certain kinds of behavior are not acceptable from anyone– behavior such as, oh, I don’t know, gettin’ unnecessarily rowdy at sporting events, or, say, assaulting security guards.

Security previously contacted the group of men about their loud behavior, Phoenix police Sgt. Andy Hill said. Two of the men were allowed back into the lounge after a conversation with security, but a melee broke out shortly afterwards.

“While (security guards) were trying to arrest the suspect for disorderly conduct, the (Laird brothers) interfered and assaulted the security guards,” Hill said.
Michael Ferraresi, Arizona Republic, via

Thank cats it sounds like no one was seriously injured, so we may fully concentrate on how ridiculous and stupid this is. Of course we don’t have any details and so we do not know if ‘assaulted’ means something like ‘punched in the face’, or if it means something more like ‘threw a full cup of soda’, but still. You were at a PHOENIX SUNS GAME, Gerald. Honestly. Settle the heck down.

There is really nothing good that can come of this. I suppose perhaps it can serve as a lesson for the young’uns on the team– DO NOT DO AS GERALD HAS DONE, BEHOLD ITS UTTER STUPIDITY– but beyond that, mmm, nope, pretty much unrelentingly bad. I would not have expected this from G-Money, of all cats. Truly my Disappointment is keen and strong.

15 responses to “that is not how you behave in public, Gerald

  1. Wow! Where in the world is this “Team Going?”In the days of Denny McLain the Tigers had the middle of the infield solved with Alan and “Sweet Lou”! . Comeon! Dave, get it right!

  2. LOVE the look on Paws’ face!

    Seriously, he’s old enough to not act like a drunken frat boy at his first keg party. Should have used more sense. You embarrass all other 30 year olds who can actually act like civilized adults in public.

  3. Yesssss, I was waiting for this drawing, ha ha.

  4. ps I think you made gMoney a lot skinnier than he really is! Don’t cartoon kindly, dude just got cited for assault! :D

  5. ivantopumpyouup

    I love this drawing so much

  6. walleyeman, I dunno. :/ But it’s not like Dombrowski could have predicted this.


    FrogMan, ha ha, glad to deliver! And he did come out kinda skinny here… idek, man.

    ivan, hee, thanks.

  7. Great, great drawing! Let’s remember that GMoney is presumed innocent….

  8. I, for one, welcome our new drunken brawling overlords.

  9. Paws’ facial expression is priceless.

    This isn’t directed at you Sam, but I don’t get all the “OMG, what’s happening to our Tigers?” I’m seeing.

    It was just a couple years ago that Craig Monroe was busted stealing a belt (What’s up wit dat, to borrow from Kenan Thompson?) and Dmitri Young smacked around his girlfriend in pretty close proximity to each other (chronologically).

    I know it seems like all news is bad lately, but I think you’d be hard pressed to find a baseball clubhouse in which one teammate doesn’t get loaded at inappropriate times and another got into an offseason scrape.

    I’m not downplaying Miggy and Gerald’s respective (presumed) stupidity, but I don’t think it means the Tigers should be getting their own reality show as a dysfunctional MLB team yet, either.

  10. Gerald is about the last Tiger I’d expect to see in this kind of trouble. (Okay, Curtis Granderson would have been the last person – but he’s not a Tiger anymore, is he?) I am also Disappointed in him, but Matt’s right, we’re not up for any team dysfunctional awards yet.

  11. h20polopunk – Nice Simpsons reference there, by the way.

  12. I was shocked when I heard about what went down with Gerald Laird. He, as well as anybody in the public eye, should be careful about how they handle themselves in public, knowing how the media handles things nowadays.

  13. Thanks Matt! I love it when someone catches an obscure joke. :)

  14. Leshnock, of course, of course. Innocent until proven guilty and all that. And they said he was ‘cited’ for assault, I’m not even sure what legal consequences follow an assault citation. Guess we’ll see. Bleh.

    h20, lol, well, let’s just hope the team doesn’t welcome him as a leader based on his drunken brawl abilities. ;)

    Matt, no, I agree. This is professional baseball, there are always going to be overpaid, testosterone-crazed manchildren behaving badly. There always HAVE been– guys were acting up (and acting out) back in Babe Ruth’s day, and they certainly haven’t stopped yet.

    That said, hopefully most of them won’t assault security and get arrested for their drunken shenanigans…. for instance, Zoom was the idiot doing kegstands on his busted arm, but at least he wasn’t doing anything illegal, yanno?

    Lauren, well, everybody should know better than to assault security guards, public figure or not. :P

  15. Gerald! For Shame! Putting that expression on Paws face, that should be illegal!

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