illustration by Samara Pearlstein
Gerald Laird, I am sorely disappointed. This is behavior that we would frown upon coming from one of the youthful kittens! But you, Gerald, are 30 years old! Old enough to know better! Old enough to know that certain kinds of behavior are not acceptable from anyone– behavior such as, oh, I don’t know, gettin’ unnecessarily rowdy at sporting events, or, say, assaulting security guards.
Security previously contacted the group of men about their loud behavior, Phoenix police Sgt. Andy Hill said. Two of the men were allowed back into the lounge after a conversation with security, but a melee broke out shortly afterwards.
“While (security guards) were trying to arrest the suspect for disorderly conduct, the (Laird brothers) interfered and assaulted the security guards,” Hill said.
Michael Ferraresi, Arizona Republic, via Freep.com
Thank cats it sounds like no one was seriously injured, so we may fully concentrate on how ridiculous and stupid this is. Of course we don’t have any details and so we do not know if ‘assaulted’ means something like ‘punched in the face’, or if it means something more like ‘threw a full cup of soda’, but still. You were at a PHOENIX SUNS GAME, Gerald. Honestly. Settle the heck down.
There is really nothing good that can come of this. I suppose perhaps it can serve as a lesson for the young’uns on the team– DO NOT DO AS GERALD HAS DONE, BEHOLD ITS UTTER STUPIDITY– but beyond that, mmm, nope, pretty much unrelentingly bad. I would not have expected this from G-Money, of all cats. Truly my Disappointment is keen and strong.