illustrations by Samara Pearlstein
Still nothing happening on the Tiger front. That’s OK. We can keep busy over here.
Rick Porcello travels through time. A much more subtle superpower than that of Verlander, but obvious when you start to really think about it. How else could he have such a youthful countenance, but at the same time display such veteran-esque poise and pitching ability during games? Obviously he has been travelling back and forth in time, learning from the pitching masters, logging training hours without affecting his natural timeline. It is the only explanation that makes sense.
How does FredFred do this? Easy: portals. He can use his powers to access the spacetime continuum in a way normal people cannot, and he can open portals to other points in the continuum at will. Of course it is difficult to maintain such a portal, but FredFred only needs to keep it open and stable for the amount of time it takes for him to step through it. The transition from one point in spacetime to another is practically instantaneous. This is because of Science.
So far he has managed to use his powers to his pitching advantage, but there are risks involved. There is of course always the danger of exposure to disease organisms against which FredFred has no natural defense, and many of the times to which he may travel are dangerous in other, more overt ways (great wars, volcanos, ninjas, dinosaurs, apocalyptic radiation, etc). Then of course there is the potential mental anguish– the spacetime continuum is so constructed that no matter how much he might want to, FredFred cannot change the outcome of the 2006 World Series. Even if he goes back and puts himself on the team, the ultimate result will be the same. Some points are fixed in time and cannot be changed, even if the details around them differ slightly. Harsh. But that’s life.
Of course it’s not all doom and gloom, bouncing around the timestream. There are some perks beyond the obvious pitching benefits.
Unlike Verlander (and most of the other superpowered pitchers), FredFred does not need much protection from potential kidnapping agents, because if he needs to escape he can always just open a portal to some other where/when. Even he can derive comfort from Paws’ road protection, though. For all of his time travelling, FredFred is still very young, and what kid doesn’t love a giant overprotective teddy bear? Or loltiger, as the case may be.