illustration by Samara Pearlstein
Spring Training! FINALLY!
Stupid news for our favorite stupid cats:
—Joel Zumaya knows he’s used up 8 of his 9 lives already. It remains to be seen if this is just word-vomit, or if he’s actually taken it to heart.
—Dontrelle speaks. “To me, the issue is, I’m terrible.” Oh, Dontrelle. Don’t make me cry. :(
—Johnny Damon’s wife likes Chicago better than Detroit. ENOUGH. I wish he would just disappear into a forest somewhere, lost to the world for 50 years. At the end of that time he will emerge, having transformed into a magical tree sprite who, having inhuman powers, is not allowed to play professional baseball.
Two from the same article:
–Nate Robertson had surgery on his groin back in November. Why are we only hearing about this now? I guess if it had gone badly they would have just let him slip silently into the murky recesses of the minors.
–Clete Thomas has made a Wee Clete! Brooks Massey Thomas was born on January 30. Big Cat Congrats to Mr. and Mrs. Thomas!