photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein
We all know by now that Bobby Seay is starting the season on the DL, right? Yes. Good. I normally wouldn’t make a whole new post for something so obvious, but the Story of the SeayShoulder has gone from yet another ho-hum persistent tendonitis-like ailment to something much more sinister. Insert evil echoey laughter here.
Bobby Seay will see a third doctor about the soreness in his left shoulder and said “I can’t talk about what it is yet, but it was never bursitis and never tendonitis. Not even close.”
Tom Gage/Detroit News
THEN WHAT IS IT?? He can’t talk about it… yet! Dun duuuuuunnnnnn. I must admit that I am intrigued. It was never ‘even close’ to tendonitis? What manner of shoulder deviltry are we dealing with here? Is it one of Nate’s teratomas? Has his shoulder joint come completely apart, held in place by his skin, like a leather bag of loose wire hangers? Is it a cyst the size of a cantaloupe, filled with humours so vile that Science cannot even conceive of their existence?
Maybe a small portal to an alternate dimension has opened up in Bobby Seay’s shoulder, and the resulting instability of the joint area has been causing him pain (not to mention the problems with all the alternate dimension aliens coming through the portal and the alternate dimension radiation in wavelengths unknown to man and all that). Or maybe it’s a simple ShoulderMonster, as illustrated above. A most troublesome protrusion, of course. It’s the teeth that really get you.
We can only hope that Mr. Seay will see fit to elucidate this matter soon enough. Because now he’s got us all hyped up on curiosity. You can’t just leave it at that, Bobby!