but can fish grow facial hair?


doodle by Samara Pearlstein

Nate Robertson has been traded to the Marlins. Pretty sure this means Bondo and Dontrelle are in the rotation. PAWS PRESERVE US.

Nate has given us plenty to remember him by: Gum Time, the Pitching Goggles of Great Majesty, a certain tendency to overfeed gophers, the many varieties of facial hair, etc. He’s been with the Tigers since 2003 and I am sure there will be some Tigers fan, somewhere, who will deeply miss him.

But his ability to start and remain in the rotation was going to be in doubt all season long in Detroit. He will probably get more chances to stick in Florida, so it should be a good move for him, and I think he’s the only lefty on the Marlins’ staff right now, so it’s a move that makes some sense for them too (I guess I’ll just assume they couldn’t get any other lefties easily).

In return for Nate, the Tigers get Jay Voss, an almost-23-year-old lefty reliever who spent time last season in high-A and double-A ball. The Marlins tried him as a starter in ’07 and ’08; it looks like they converted him to a reliever just last year, and that was easily his best year of pro ball so far. He went to something called ‘Kaskaskia College’, about which I know nothing beyond the fact that they offer, among other things, “men’s & women’s soccor” (spelled as I found it). Unless there’s some sort of Spazzosauropocalypse, he will be a total nonfactor at the big league level this year.

Since Nate is due $10 million this season and he is going to the Marlins, I am assuming the Tigers are paying part of his salary, but I haven’t seen anything saying how much yet. I’ll update if I see it before the seder tonight.

ETA: Apparently the Tigers are paying $9.6 million of the $10 million Nate is owed. This means that the Marlins get Nate for around $400,000, which is a whisker above the league minimum. Now, LOOK. I understand that the Tigers were always going to have to take on some of Nate’s salary to move him. I understand that they were probably going to need to take on the majority of his salary. But this is ridiculous.

Poor DesigNate Robertson! In one fell swoop his dreams are realized and his raison d’être is removed. I wish him blog-well in this time of exhilaration/struggle.

12 responses to “but can fish grow facial hair?

  1. Yeah, the Tigers are only paying $9.6M of Nate’s $10M salary for this year. Can anyone give me a clue as to what kind of drugs Dumbro could possibly have been on to make this deal??? We all know Dontrelle is going to implode, probably sooner than later. Hell, he already started the first of his many implosions today. We have no idea what Bondo is going to be able to do, and Nate was the most consistent of them all during the spring! I am baffledastoundedangry.

  2. Oh, what a happy day! I’m as happy as I was on the day it was announced that Rodney signed with Anaheim.

    Nate was mediocre, and managed to overachieve just enough to get a big fat sack of cash that he really hadn’t done anything to earn since.

  3. I got sidetracked in DesigNate’s site. The Strange Visitor from the East was hysterically funny.

  4. I’m still not sure if I should laugh or cry at all of this. Thank you for your support…

  5. Just caught the news. I’m going to miss Nasty Nate, but he just doesn’t fit in the plan anymore and his albatross contract plus performance has been a trammel (not Alan Trammell, of course) to the Tigers for the last few years. Well, the Tigs didn’t escape the financial portion of that with the trade, but at least some mediocrity has been trimmed away.

    Good luck in Miami, Nate!

  6. ivantopumpyouup

    According to Beck, Leyland broke the news to Willis that he made the team when he went to the mound to pull him. Gotta love Leyland.

  7. No more Gum Time :(

  8. David O. (13194013)

    Maybe they should have asked for some hot dogs and other food stuffs to make up for paying almost all of Nate’s salary.

  9. Said to see Nate go, but at least we got a much-needed lefty reliever out of it.

  10. Personally, I just don’t get this. I suppose the idea is that, out of Bonderman, Nate, and Dontrelle, none of the 3 are any good in bullpen usage patterns. And possibly that Bonine and/or Arrrrrrrrrmando are better Dontrelle Implosion Insurance than Nate. But, if we’re going to pay 96% of Nate’s salary anyways, what on Earth could we possibly want with a AA lefty reliever? Are they telling me for reals that they expect Brad Thomas or Eddie Bonine to be better out of the ‘pen than Nate? I don’t get it. Good luck to ya, Nate, old pal… South Florida gets hot for most of the summer. Dare I say it, you may want to go clean-shaven. However, living in northern Delaware means I have access to both Phils and Nats game on my cable system, so I’d bet I can watch you a fair bit this year, with the unbalanced schedule and all. Go out and prove Dombrowski wrong, Nate.

  11. Dombrowski: Nate, we need your roster spot for Brad Thomas. We’re are optioning you to Toledo. We want you to stay sharp as our sixth starter.

    Robertson: [Checks calendar.] Look. I’ve been here six years. Me and my gum are not heading south. [Blows bubble. Pops it].

    Dombrowski: [Mutters under breath] Oh, your heading south all right . . .

    It was kind of like this except Dombrowski is too professional for the last line.

  12. Oh, how I wish for the repeated words and homophones to be underlined in red at blogs like on Word. Sigh.

    Your = you’re

    We’re are = We’re

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