Action Jackson


illustration by Samara Pearlstein

FIVE for FIVE.

That’s really all I have to say about that.

Congrats also to:

Scott Sizemore, for his first big league home run,

Brennan Boesch, for his first big league home run, which just happened to be a grand slam,

Gerald Laird, for a real actual extra base hit,

Jose Valverde, for everything that makes him HIM,

and finally to Rick Porcello, for getting very, very, VERY lucky. I’ve got my beady little eye on you, mister, you’d better step it up next time. The only reason I won’t yell at you right now is because I don’t want to distract too much from the kittens getting their first big hits, and from Austin Jackson’s awesomeness.

OH WAIT ONE MORE! Congrats to all the fans, for surviving another April in the D. It’s over now, friends. It’s over. Breathe easy.

14 responses to “Action Jackson

  1. ivantopumpyouup

    OMG! I WANT ONE.

  2. PudgeforPrez

    Um, agreed. WANT.

  3. And poor Boesch did not even make the top 3 for Player of the Game voting. I want to know who Brandon Inge is paying.

  4. David O. (13194013)

    I was hoping for Carl Weathers. :(

  5. Don’t be silly–of course Inge got more votes, Inge made victory possible by getting the walk to start the big inning, Boesch wouldn’t have even had his opportunity otherwise. Inge set the table; clearly more valuable…oops gotta go, McDonalds calling…

  6. Am I the only one who originally read that as “removable cup”?

  7. was there. it was awesome.

  8. I was also outraged that Boesch didn’t break the top three in POG voting. Inge has mind control over some poor group of fans.

  9. librarymonkey27

    you are amazing

  10. @oogieball–I think I just choked on my drink. Thanks. :)

  11. verlander! he pitched today in your honor!

  12. HawkeyeEdward

    I was talking with a friend who covers the Tigers for AP, and he said that the entire press box cracked up when the PA announced that the last Tigers rookie to go 5-for-5 was…

    Curtis Granderson.

  13. Those rookies did do a good job the other night. Here’s a picture I took of Austin Jackson during the May 1 Pregame clinics http://www.flickr.com/photos/femaletrumpet02/4576432284/

  14. Ha ha, aw, you guys, can you imagine how awesome it would be if they actually made an Action Jackson figure? Beyond glorious.

    I’ll also just say that the phrase ‘removable CAP’ is clearly readable at the original image size… you people with your filthy minds!

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